A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: We dated for a two years it was great until the last 6 months. He started to mistreat me such as not wanting to hang out with me and talk down to me. I broke up with him and went no contact for four months. He recently sent me flowers apologized and asked for a second chance. He says he dated another girl in between and realized how he took our whole relationship for granted. I've heard of people having to see what is out there to appreciate what they had once it's gone. But I'm skeptical because I don't want to get hurt. Should I give him a second chance?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Nope. He should have made better use of the first chance.
It's great that he's finally learned to appreciate what he had. He can apply that valuable lesson to the next woman he dates. And you can walk away secure in the knowledge that no one gets a second chance to mistreat you.
You can forgive them, but that doesn't mean taking them back. You managed fine without him these past four months.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Getting out of abusive relationships can be difficult. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to break up with him the first time. Do you really want to go through that again when he inevitably starts mistreating you again?Why did his relationship with this other girl end? Like others have said, it's quite likely that he treated her the same way and she didn't put up with it at all, so he's trying to go back to the woman who put up with it for six months.There's a difference between not appreciating something, or taking it for granted, and mistreating it. The former can be an honest mistake, a sign of immaturity or foolishness, the latter is a true sign of what kind of person he is. He was emotionally abusive and people who are capable of that are always going to be capable of that.The fact that you're even asking the question should give you the answer you need. You know you shouldn't take him back. Listen to your instincts.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2014):
 So you would be ALL OK with taking back a guy who treated you like dirt 4 months ago, who now "magically" learned how to treat a woman?
My guess is the "new" girl dumped him because he is an ass. And he wants YOU to be his go-to girl. Hoping he can "win" you back til he finds better.
You guts is making you question this " I learned a lesson" talk he is pulling. That is why you are here.
One think I have learned is if people TREAT you like crap, you let them go, you REMOVE them. You don't give them a second chance to crap on you.
Why waste more time on this guy when you can find a DECENT guy instead?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (20 January 2014):
 If you really like him, then yes, you should give him a second chance, but the minute he starts talking down to you again, dump him and don't give him a third chance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): That depends. Do you really want to?
How has being single felt for you? If you feel hesitant, listen to your gut.
You didn't just go running back to him, and you're asking if you should.
If something in the back of your mind tells you that you shouldn't. Don't!
That's your common-sense telling your heart to protect itself. He may only be coming back; because he got dumped after treating the other girl the same way!
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