A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This unofficial relationship is driving me crazy! Here it goes, the guy and I live 4 1/2 hours away from each other. We divided soon, we want to get serious. I had sex with a man while we weren't really "talking" and he got upset. We promised after that we wouldn't have sexual relations with other people. Here's where it gets bad, I had sex with someone else last night. I've been going stir crazy, he goes long amounts of times not replying to me alot, he absolutely never calls me. If I don't call him, we don't talk on the phone. I feel neglected. He tells me he wants us to get together and stay together, and expresses how very lonely he is and tired of being single. I have Genital herpes. It makes it hard for me to date, and he accepts it and still wants me so I end up dealing with him going MIA. I just wish he would call me, and put forth effort to actually makeit feel like we can still be close emotionally even if not physical all the time. I ventured elsewhere for affection. So what do I do now?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 January 2014):
 I think that if you're not getting what you need with an online boyfriend you should put an end to the arrangement and find someone local. And don't bother saying anything to him about the second incident.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 January 2014):
LDRs generally have a 6-12 month life expectancy until a choice must be made. Is what it is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): So you'll know, I am a gay man; and I will always mention to any OP to be safe; and protect the health of others regardless of sexual orientation.
You mentioned your genital herpes. His opinion about it is irrelevant to me. I suggested you take precautions since you are sexually active. I neither implied nor suggested promiscuity. My emphasis and concerns are always on safety.
You are an infected person who is sexually active; and the spread of HIV, HSV, and other STD's is nothing to take lightly. You are aware of your status and may know all about it; you still jeopardize the heath of others and their potential partners. They are trusting you, and it's up to them what risks they are willing to take. Their potential partners know nothing about you. I will never hesitate to suggest that people practice safe-sex; when it can potentially infect others.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 January 2014):
Dump him and find someone who will give you what you want. Whatever you guys have going on is not working.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): In response to your question, no you don't have to tell him you had sex with anyone else. Just break up with him. You're having sex with other people; because the LDR obviously doesn't mean anything to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey all know about my herpes. I take medicine everyday and practice safe sex. I am not promiscuous. I don't find new guys, its always the same people. I know all about my herpes as I have had it for years and years. He knows too. Doesn't care. I didn't ask for opinions on how he feels about my disease. No disrespect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Wish him well and tell him it's over.
I hope you are practicing safe sex and you inform these men you have genital herpes; before you have sex with them. Even condoms may not stop the spread of HSV.
You have a moral obligation to inform your partners that you are infected. They can get infected if they have oral sex with you. You could be infectious at all times, even if you show no symptoms.
I think an LDR with you is the least of his worries.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 January 2014):
 I think it's probably time to acknowledge that this LDR isn't working and it's time to end the relationship. It should be pretty easy to do, just don't call him and as he never contacts you, the relationship is as good as over.
If you are having sex with other people and it's an "unofficial" relationship to begin with, why are you feeling invested in this guy. Having genital herpes didn't stop you from having sex with other men, so why is it key to hanging onto the non-boyfriend?
I'm sorry if I didn't read the question correctly, it's a bit difficult to understand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy question is, do I tell this man I had sex with another man against his wishes?
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