A
female
age
30-35,
*RITANI
writes:I caught myself thinking of an abortion not to long ago and im almost 5 months, i'm watching maury and all these young girls around my age are screaming they want a baby not knowing who the babys father is and ect. my biggest fear is to have this baby and the one i love isn't the father that whats pushing me for abortion. i dont understand how the girls on the show was able to flaunt not knowing who the baby dad is and think its cute, while im over here crying every night and praying that he is looking for every sign or feeling to tell me he is. I felt so sure that he was before and i'm not as sure as i thought i was then and there's so many people that would be disappointed if the results are that he isn't the father. me and him is taking baby shower pictures our name is every where together as the day go on i'm killing my self living with this guilt, so i feel i got to get rid of the baby ='(
View related questions:
abortion, want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SallyR87  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Hey Britani,
Just wanted to add that I'm adopted and a couple of years ago my birth-mother got in touch with me for the first time. Our relationship is real good - she's like a cool aunt to me. Growing up adopted was no trouble either. Just something to consider.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): I feel it's a little late to have an abortion. I beleive in choice but at 5 months you have a very developed baby. This would come back to haunt you. You are so young that your boyfriend who you want as the father now, you may not have these strong feelings for months from now. You need to be honest and fair, these are lives you are dealing with. Be truthful to your boyfriend and he may understand, if he doesn't and it isn't his baby then you will have to move forward. Good luck to finding the father. Please learn from this, I know it's a hard lesson but you can make a change in the right direction.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): I agree with a woman's right to choose but I really feel that five months is getting a bit too far gone to have an abortion for purely social reasons. You got pregnant and as far as I can see, you need to take responsibility for that now. It's not your baby's fault that you don't know who the father is, and if you were that worried about it you should have confronted this issue earlier. If you don't want the baby then give it up for adoption. Abortion is really a cowardly way out of this situation. Moreover, if there is someone on the scene who thinks he is the ather then you need to talk to him and warn him about the situation. You can't just lead him on and let him think he is the father if he isn't, that is cowardly also. Just tell the truth. That is the only way to get out of this situation. An abortion so late in is not the way to get rid of guilt as I think you would find out. You had sex, you knew the risks, now you are pregnant. You need to be an adult now; stop messing the potential father around and be honest. Stop lying and grow up.
...............................
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (29 June 2010):
 You may think of an abortion as a means of erradicating your guilt, but what more often happens to women choosing this option is that they then carry guilt about the abortion itself.
Your trading one guilt for another and need to ask yourself which is the lesser of two evils - your child possibly having a different father to what you hoped, or your child not getting to live at all? As for people being dissapointed, ... people will be dissapointed if you terminate the pregnancy too, .... the only winnable outcome logically is having the child and it perhaps having the father you hope. All other options are going to leave you issues to deal with so think through each scenario carefully, and may I ask not just with yourself in mind, but the baby and father candidates too. You may think it will harm the relationship if he is not the dad, ..but what do you suppose suddenly terminating a pregnancy he is involved in, over half way through, will get you as a reaction? ... and it might be his anyway and all of this is for nothing!
I feel abortion unfortunately does have it's place in some circumstances, but I hardly find wanting to eradicate guilt over your own actions instead of stepping up and taking responsibility for them a justifiable one.
I think coming clean would be a better way to unload your guilt once and for all instead of leaving a trail of it behind you for the rest of your life.
Hope it all works out for you.
...............................
|
