A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So i am confused about being about to trust my boyfriend? We have been going out for four years, and the first year was absolutely terrible that I dont even know why i stayed with him then. So what he did was emailing this girl who is like a teenager, and dismissed my existence when she asked about me. A year later he told me, he enjoyed the attention that he wasn't getting like his other friends. At the end of that same year, he was at a party and some girl he use to have a fling with, who was all over him - he claims that they didnt kiss, but i have heard otherwise. He said he only stayed around to talk to her because again of the attention. Hopeful me (again) was willing to believe him because I truly felt that he was a good person. So then the next 2 years past, and he was really good to me - no lying. But now he is putting me in the same position. We no longer live in the same city, he is making new female friends, who he claims are just friends of friends. And again like the previous excuse, he says that all the girls like his friends, and not him. So my question is, do you think someones insecurities (due to lack of attention) can change given the same situation 4 years later? Or do you think that its my own insecurities and lack of forgiveness that i am unable to trust him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Why the heck have you been with him for four years???...You are the one with the insecurities....And guess what, he knows...He know that you are insecure and hence will put up with whatever...And as long as the status quo remains he will continue to treat you badly ...You need to get yourself out of this relationship...It is not good for your self-esteem
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): I'm sorry love for ur situation its not u its him he has cheated once and he will do it again becuz u forgave him the first time or two times. He is going two do it again becuz he now thinks he can get away with it and u will just forgive him again. It's nothing two do with insecurity its becuz he is a cheat once a cheat always a cheat. That's just my opinion love but u seem like a nice girl who can do so much better than him. Find someone who will respect u becuz I don't think he does I wish u good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Whether a man seeks attention from other females due to insecurity or just being a jerk the fact still remains that he is disrespecting you and your relationship. Why should you be placed in any position where you are constantly on edge about someone elses behaviour as a result of their severe lack of self-esteem? Talking about self-esteem, you should reevaluate yours cause staying with someone who continually disregards your feelings and your relationship to fill his deflated ego says more about you and what you think about yourself and what you deserve than it does about him. There are good men out there and from the sound of it, he's not one of them. You can do so much better and I'm pretty sure you know that, so ask yourself, what's stopping you?
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