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Does he actually want a relationship?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am currently dating my friend's roomate. We got together last weekend but have known each other for about 2 months. Even though we were both drinking, we were fully aware of what was going on. We started kissing and he pressed himself up against me and I said that I don't do that without a commitment and asked if he wanted to try dating and he said "We'll go with the flow." Since then, we have been texting and calling each other about every other day and he would come to my place and vice versa. Every time we see each other, we always end up making out and he wants to get physical but I say no. Sometimes he will respect my wishes and back off but other times, he gets frusterated for teasing him. Its finals week in school so we can't really spend too much time with each other because we both need to study. I said that we need to go on an official date and he promised to take me out to the city once he gets money. Last night I went over to his place and we got into a makeout session again. I reminded him that I don't have sex without a commitment and he said that was "intense" whatever he meant by that. I asked if he was once of those guys who just wants to sleep with me and he said that he does, but that's not all he wants. Of course, not all we do is physical. We talk a lot and get to know each other more, he gives me his food, calls me baby, kisses me in public, tells me to come watch him play basketball etc. My friend told me that he doesn't sleep around and he wants something long term, which is what I don't really understand. If he wants a relationship, why can't he ask me out already? I mean is he just being a "guy"? Is it too soon to start worrying?

View related questions: kissing, money, teasing, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009):

Yeah, like Peter Pan said, he could be strapped for cash and on a tight budget. I can definitely relate to that. This may be an embarrassment for him and he may be afraid he could not show you the kind of date you would enjoy. If you are really serious about being closer, why not be honest and say that the "expense" is not a factor. Aren't there still campus dances and other activities?

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A female reader, Shadowplay United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2009):

Just wait it out

if he likes you, and you like him. it will become clear! theres no rush if its mutual. dont feel at all to take things further youve got to do more than your makeout sessions.

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (15 March 2009):

PeterPan agony auntPerhaps in his defense, when I was in college, I barely had enough money to feed myself, let alone take somebody out on a "real date". I'm guessing he's got the same problem.

From the sound of things, it seems like you're getting along. I would say stop worrying too much about it and let things progress as they are... unless you're in some particular worry. It all sounds good from this end!

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