A
female
age
26-29,
*allmecrazy
writes:I have been dating this guy since I was 14- now 21 and engaged to him. I always wanted to get married young and having a family is the most important thing to me. We have never broken up or taken a break-he has cheated on me once 4 years ago and I have cheated on him a million times, mostly in highschool but we moved on from it all and forgave eachother. We know we were stupid kids. WHAT HAPPENED: This past year I met a man at my new job and was instantly attracted to him, flirting, lead to dates, lead to make out- I told my boyfriend about it and eplained to him that I was tired of waiting around. Two weeks later he purposed... I said yes...THE QUESTION: Now, months later I still can't stop thinking about this guy, I really truely like him, I hate wondering if I could be happier, Does cheating on my fiancee automaticly mean marriage is the last thing I should do? Could this other guy be for real? Could I be with my fiancee because that is all I know? Do you really need to date around to know who you are? ANY insite out there? I have been killing myself over what this means and what to do.Thanks for taking the time to read my randomness :)
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female
reader, callmecrazy +, writes (27 January 2007):
callmecrazy is verified as being by the original poster of the question I think everyone is right- I am afraid that I am trying to choose between the person I have been with for 7 years, my best friend... and just this guy I have known for a few months. I feel like if my fiancee and I lived together (he is away at med school-I have till summer to "make a desision") than everything would be fine, I could move on and I KNOW I would be happy forever. *but* what if I could be happier? Could I just be traiding in all the things I want to fix about my fiancee for new problems, and I wouldn't have felt this way if it wasn't for the guy. All the times in highschool I cheated it was just stupid-I never was emotionally involved with any of them. What do I tell my "future husband"???
A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Yes, dear marriage right now is the last thing you should do. I won't sugar coat it. You two have both had difficulties staying faithful to each other. That's not a sign of a lasting relationship. My thought is you two have known each other so long, you don't know how to permanently let go of each other to date other people. It's like you're family. And, that's a tough one.
YOUR QUESTION:Do you really need to date around to know who you are? It certainly helps. All of life's experiences are valuable. But, you two have "sorta" dated around I guess. Except, you haven't let go of each other. You are both scared of the unknown. We all are. It is very scary to try new things. But, you will never know unless you try. Let's say you get married. You're already thinking of another guy. That is horrible for a newly married couple. Those thoughts will not be erased just by saying "I do". If you were ready for marriage, you would only be focused on him. That is the truth. Heed my advice. Don't rush into this marriage. You two need to take a break. He sounds like he proposes b/c he actually thought this time you may really like someone else. That's not a good enough reason.
Keep us updated. Good Luck
:)
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Cheating on one person might mean that you are not ready to commit to that person.
If you rush into any decision you may regret it later.
Having doubts is quite normal but allow yourself enough time to decide which one you would rather be with.
x
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