A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 2 years and I are in a distance relationship. I am 34 and she 32 years old. We see each other every weekend and are very close. We would both far prefer living together but despite hard efforts I am not doing well in getting a job where she lives and for various reasons she doesn't feel for moving to my city. The travel from my city to hers is about 3 hours.My question is that my GF really passionately wants to have a baby and I can understand that because I want the same. However, my feeling is that it would be better to wait until I am successful in getting a job and we are living together, even if this takes another year, year and a half (especially with the economy all being bad). I asked her if she had thought through what it might be like being a) pregnant and me not around for 4 nights a week and b) in the same situation with a new baby. She says she thinks it might not be easy but it's something she wants to do. She is also worried that she is 32 and the years are going by and thinks it will probably not happen right away if we start trying.Does anyone have any advice or even experience of having a baby while with someone in a long distance relationship???
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 March 2009):
By thinking it probably won't happen straight away, you just KNOW that it's going to happen the first time the condom comes off.
Babies cost a lot of money. How is she going to pay for it if she isn't working? Are you going to be able to afford her rent and yours?
Plus, you'll only see her and it on weekends, and that means missing all the scans, and possibly the birth.
She will then be a single mum during the week, which is doable but really really NOT fun.
If she is going to have to give up work to have this kid.... Why can't she just come and move to where you are?
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, littlemomma  +, writes (17 March 2009):
 Having a baby in a long distance relationship is NOT easy. My husband is in South Carolina and I'm clear across the states in Oregon. We have an almost 10 month old little girl and it's quite challenging not having both parents around all the time. However, it's still so worth it. If you guys truly love each other and TRULY think your ready for a baby...dont worry about how hard it's going to be. You'll make it through together, and have a wonderful gift of life to show for it. The real question here isnt if you should do it, it's if your ready to do it.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): she's right in being concerned for her fertility, most women start to 'decline' in their 30's.... my partner and i had a baby together, he lived in canada and i lived in england.. we saw each other for a week every month, the decision to have a baby together with him still living hundreds of miles away wa tough, its been really hard but totally worthwhile... we now live together, like a proper family, i think we are closer due to our experience of maintaining a relationship thousands of miles apart
...............................
|
