A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ladies! I've been reading this site forever, and it's inspired me to write a story for a women's media outlet that I hope will help a lot of girls and women. I'm looking for women who have a boyfriend with an amazing, successful, super-hot ex-girlfriend (maybe she's even an actress or a model), and it's uncomfortable and upsetting to hear about her or see her, knowing that she's been with your boyfriend. Can anyone relate to this? I'd love to hear your story. Please e-mail me at friendstergrrl (at) hotmail (dot) com and tell me your story, and I'll tell you more about the article I'm working on.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (24 October 2010):
Hi there. I haven't been in this situation, but I see what you're asking.
It's a case of a low self-esteem of the new girlfriend, who is probably comparing her looks to the "Hot" ex you are referring to.
Comparing yourself to anyone is never a good idea, as we are all unique. Looks are only a small part of physical attraction anyway. Very shallow.
Yes, the initial glance from across a crowded room to a handsome stranger is what initially brings you together to say Hi, but beyond that, the personality and sense of humour is really what keeps it all going. These are the qualities that make a guy want to come back for more - not just the looks. A feeling of an emotional connection between you is the real key, and having things in common with each other plus similar life values as well. These are the real glue that keeps two people together, and wanting to be together.
Anyone who compares herself to some model, actress or whatever, is seriously doing herself a disservice. It's a pointless exercise, a total waste of time. It serves no purpose, and it will bring much unhappiness.
A confident, independent, slightly unpredictable woman who knows what she wants in life and makes herself happy without being dependent on a man to do so, and having her own interesting, exciting life is very appealing. This is far more attractive to a man, than a woman with just a pretty face, a nice body and not much else.
Also another attractive quality for a woman to have, is to refuse to not be taken for granted or be mistreated by anyone. Never settling for anything less than the best for herself. Knowing that she is worthy of this - always.
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