A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I have met 7 months ago. It's a long distance relationship. We've fallen in love, and even talked about getting married in the future. I told myself not to get too attached to this guy, because I went through a really bad traumatizing breakup before I met this guy. And lately I feel like I really love this guy and can't help but get attached to him. The problem is, he's always at his friend's place staying up late till 5 A.M. and i tend to sleep early coz i gotta go to work early in the morning. He calls me once a day, and sometimes he doesn't, and when i get upset about it he tells me that i'm making a big deal out of nothing. I'm really confused, I don't know what to do, am i wasting my time here?The thing is, he sounds very sincere when he tells me "I love you" but his actions tell a different story. He doesn't like it when i nag about it, and i don't want to be a nagger coz it will eventually drive him away. What do you guys think? How can I make him care about me and miss me? I'm a really good-looking girl and he's just an average looking guy.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 December 2012):
 You met 7 months ago? Face to face in real life or on the computer? Have you met face to face?
If you have not met face to face, well then it’s a pretend relationship and you should probably prepare for it to end sooner rather than later
If you have met in real life, how often do you see each other. Meeting once and then not seeing each other (even if you are across the country) is NOT a relationship. LDRS are harder than relationships where you are close. I did one for a year and we were only 2 hours apart by car and it was crazy. We lasted less than 1 year being apart full time and he gave up his life and his home and moved to be with me. The PRIMARY goal of an LDR is to NOT be an LDR… so what’s the plan to end the distance? If you have no plan to end the distance, consider yourselves good friends… nothing more.
you can't make someone care more.
you can't make them do what you want them to do if they don't want to do it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): you can't make someone care about you or miss you. all you can do is control your own emotions and expectations so that you can appreciate what they are willingly offering rather than stewing about what they are not doing. if that's not enough for you, then maybe this isn't the right guy for you.
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A
female
reader, Elza  +, writes (18 December 2012):
For a start, try missing his call. To make it easier, switch off the sound on the mobile. And then give it a good wait before calling him back (ideally he should call first).Give some nice funny cheerful reason about missing the call and chat about other things. Once in a while guys should be reminded that they are not the centre of the world, although it may be just an act.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
Ill play this record one more time here.
A LDR has a shelf life of 6-12 months, as which time decisions must be made on either making it a non-LDR, or making it a non-relationship.
Since this is month 7, Id suggest you focus on the above rather than "making him miss you more."
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