A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all I was wondering if anyone ever feels like the "ugly friend?"I am so tired of being the ugly friend and having such pretty friends. It makes me feel like crap. My friend is so pretty and all the guys like her and stare at her. Please don't think I'm jealous, I'm just sad that no one ever finds me attractive or even looks at me especially when we are together. I'm pretty sure even my crush likes her. She is a really nice and caring friend and would never try to hurt me but I can't help but notice he likes her. It's so depressing. I don't know what to think. Thank you for reading.
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female
reader, LoveKnight  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 Sorry about that but I've been in such a situation before and all I had to do was identify what I have that my friends don't haveBe sure not to let this become jealousy or a weakness otherwise its going to destroy you emotinally.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 Sadly we live in a world where 'looks' mean more than they should. It's tough if you compare yourself to others on a superficial basis, because you are always going to come off worse.
I apreciate that you are at that akward stage where you are trying to attract a partner and having a 'very pretty friend' isn't helping, especially since she's such a nice person.
I could tell you to hang out with other people who you don't feel so threatened by or to improve your own looks by working out and getting a make over but that's a pretty shallow answer on my part and would that make you feel better?...No it wouldn't.
I don't think it's a bad thing to make other circles of friends, people who will see you in different roles, not just as the 'ugly friend'. Branch out, don't hang with her all the time, focus on other things. Maybe the person you are meant to date, is in a different place and doesn't even know her?
You have a crush and he's crushing on her?...let it go, just say, 'This is one moment in my life that is hurting me, so I am going to let it go'
Nobody said life was fair, but nobody said you have to stay and torture yourself either!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2014): Gain some confidence and put yourself out there! A lot of the times guys like confident girls who feel and act sexy, rather than just a pretty face. It's all about how you present yourself. I have some friends who are not that over the top pretty, but they are fun and confident, and end up attracting numerous cute guys. If you think you are hot, you ARE hot!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2014): First of all don't ever say you are ugly or not pretty! All of us have some thing about us that is pretty or attractive, all of us, doesn't matter how old we are.Remember too that it's our personality and how we treat others that counts, being pretty doesn't make up for a nasty or unkind personality. We are all attracted to different people, don't give up, you will meet a guy you will. So your friend is hot and guys like her, good for her.Way too much pressure, not to mention at times the unwanted attention from staring and leering guys.This doesn't mean you are not pretty. It is hard and I though I am much older than you, I can so definitely relate, I have a couple of pretty friends and my younger sister is very striking, people always say how beautiful she is etc etc and what a great person, wonderful person, she is etc.Reading on facebook how pretty and gorgeous she is is hard, she is and she is lucky, but she's my little sister and I do care, but it does hurt.I am pale, thin, average looking and have quite bad skin, most of my life I have been overlooked for friends that are pretty or hot. I even had a former pretty friend say to me I was average once, and even her bf and her mother said I was "not as good looking as he and my hair was bad"I have very bad sight and wear glasses a lot, I have had people say to me how pale I am and stare. I am surrounded by quite a few work colleagues, younger and a few older who are good looking, good for them, I have no dislike, but it does hurt.So yes I know how you feel. So the guys stare at her.. good for her, she's your friend and you said she cares thats good, dont be sad, dont give up, you are young and you will find a guy that will stare at you too!
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