A
female
age
41-50,
*ap
writes:Ok i am soooo confused!I dated Rob last year for 7 months. The relationship was good except for the fact he made me question his feelings towards me. I told him after 6 months i loved him and he responded with 'thats nice!' not the responce i hoped for!! Apart from that things were good and i genuinely loved him to bits. Unfortunately when i dared ask him how he felt about me he flew off the handle and refused to even speak to me, i was heartbroken, he ended the relationship via a text.As i was upset i accepted when a nice guy i knew, (Martin) asked me out a few weeks later. This relationship quickly became more serious and we started spending our weekends together. The problem is that Martin treats me really well and constantly tells me how much he loves me, unfortunately i struggle to feel the same. I have been seeing Martin 7 months now but feel nothing.Rob contacted me after about 3 months of splitting and told me he missed me like mad and would do anything for us to try again, he even told me he loved me! I have kept Rob at arms length but am finding it really difficult. Rob doesnt know about Martin. Martin and i have recently been really struggling with the relationship as i know he wants more than i can give him, we had a short break from one another. During that time i met 3 times with Rob as friends and feel a real spark with him.Should i follow my head or heart?Martin is so reliable, good looking and a fantastic boyfriend but it lacks chemistry, Rob is unreliable and would probably run again if i ever questioned him again but i just seem to crave him! Please help me i am so confused....head or heart??? thanks xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 March 2011):
Neither:
Your heart is leading you to a man who sounds desperate, rather than really loving. Face facts here, Rob was a crap boyfriend. His response to you saying I love you was "that's nice"! He probably said the same thing to his mother too.
As for Martin? Well, he's just not cutting it elsewhere.
Why don't you get away from both, and find a guy with the spark or Rob, and the reliability of Martin? They do exist, and that's got to be better and more worthy than dating a guy who'll just treat you like a doormat, or another guy who doesn't make you feel that spark.
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