A
male
age
30-35,
*tupidjeepguy
writes:Hi folks, i have a problem. I was in a rather emotionally abusive relationship that i broke out of almost a year ago and ever since i have been kind of rude and pushing people away to keep from getting close to any women, is this normal? what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2014): This is totally, completely normal. Just know that you might need some time on your own with loved ones and great friends to really fully heal up before you engross yourself in any new love - it's like prodding a wound that hasn't quite healed.I made the awful mistake of jumping in too fast and found that it really made me unhappy. I don't want to see anyone else go through that... you have to love yourself truly and deeply before anybody else can. Nurse yourself back to help, create a happy life, and all the love you want will find you in a better place.Don't force yourself to change, just allow yourself to eventually forgive. To be angry or upset is to a be victim, that's what I learnt.
A
female
reader, Macigreen +, writes (2 March 2014):
I was in an abusive / controling relationship and I pushed people away too. In the beginning I had no trust in anyone not even my friends. I felt like I couldnt open up to any one because I had been so used to hiding everything from everyone for so long. I met a great guy by chance and he restored my faith is guys. And has showed me what a real relationship is like.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (27 February 2014):
 First of all…STOP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY!!!! You were in an abusive relationship? Wrong!!! You are STILL in an abusive relationship…and no, that is not normal. Why??You no longer need someone to do the abusing. You have been doing to yourself for a year now. If I was in a bad relationship, and got out of it, I would be running to find something great. Not sitting there day in, day out, living in the past and abusing myself with…get this… “MY OWN MIND.” How long have you been putting YOURSELF down? How long have you been telling YOURSELF all these hurtful things? Where has it gotten you? Did it make you rich; have a better life, new sweet girlfriend… nope…NOTHING. But you are still do it…abusing yourself.Go live your life and leave the past where it belongs. Bad things happen in our lives so we can learn, become stronger, and live better. No one goes through life without hardship, but its how we deal with it that makes our lives awesome, or depressing.
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