A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I are dating long distance and it's extremely hard right now for me to get away to see him, even just for a few hours, because my parent's are really strict and I'm working with them every day.I mentioned two weeks ago that I was TRYING to see him just so that he had a heads up to leave his day free. I guess he took that to mean that it was a definite thing, even though I had only said I was trying, but anyway, we had a potential date set, but I wasn't absolutely sure yet and told him that the second I knew, I'd text him and let him know. Instead of waiting for me to let him know, he'd text me every day to get an update. This went on for about two or three days and when I finally told him that I could come, he remembered that he couldn't do it because of a dr's appointment. I was so angry, because he knows how hard it is for me to get away. After that, he told me to just try for the next week. I told him that it was highly unlikely that I could make it but that I would still try. On Friday, he texted me asking if I knew whether or not I'd be able to come yet (despite my telling him the night before that his asking daily was beginning to stress me out) and I said I didn't know yet then asked how his day was going. He answered and asked how mine was, but after I responded, I didn't hear anything from him until two days later, which is today..and of course, the only thing he had to say was are you coming? I ignored it because I was pissed at him for not texting me all weekend. Couple hours later, he texted me asking again. Then right after, he sent a long text about how he was gonna be busy next week and blah blah blah, it seemed like he was trying to put extra pressure on me to make things happen. I told him that I was sorry but I couldn't do it because I had too much drama going on at home and would be busy all week. He said ok and that was it. I texted him later saying that I didn't appreciate that all he ever texts me about anymore is about me visiting him, or his weekend disappearance. He told me to shut up and that I was acting like that's the only thing he ever texts me about, but not to worry because he won't be doing it for another two weeks since he knows I def can't come. We haven't spoken since and I'd be willing to bet that we won't until two weeks from now when he starts asking me if I'm gonna come visit again. Uhhh..can I just say that I really am not acting like that's the only thing he's texted me about for the past two weeks?? Occasionally, he'll throw in an I love you, but he doesn't ask about my day or how I'm doing..just if I can visit. I can understand that he's anxious to see me, and I am too but I can't just make it happen instantly and it's kinda annoying/frustrating being asked EVERY DAY instead of him just waiting for me to tell him myself when I know I can.With his schedule, he's only free Mon-Wed..so not only do I have to find time away from my family, I've gotta be able to do it during those three days. When I'm away at school, I've my own apartment and he's able to come visit me whenever he can make the time. I NEVER pressure him about coming to visit, I simply wait for him to tell me that he's coming to see me. He's managed to come see me for a week at a time about every month or so, sometimes longer. I'm at school with all the freedom in the world for 9 months, and home with absolutely no freedom for 3 months, yet he actually had the nerve to "joke" around about how it was my parent's fault that we don't see each other much. What the...?!?! I really don't know if it's my boyfriend or just the distance, but I'm starting to feel unhappy. I think about him sometimes and get so irritated, and at others I smile. I say it's most likely the distance because when we're together, everything is amazing. What he's been doing lately is actually making me not want to see him at all and I really, really, REALLY hate that feeling.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Um....bad news....he sounds like a cheater. My thoughts, and this is my two cents, if he cared about you he wouldn't leave you hanging for two days. My wife's ex did the same thing and she was cheating. And I am going to say this as well, if he is not cheating, he is not putting an effort into your relationship and you deserve better. In a healthy relationship the other person puts just as much effort into it as you do. Long distance or not. Good luck!
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