A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I kinda have two questions. Firstly i'd your opinion on if you think anything could come of this and secondly i need some help talking to this friend of mine. Heres the situation.I've known him afew years now, always thought he liked me, i always liked him. Nothing was ever done about it when we were in college together as we couldnt even be friends since alot of the other members of the group (our "friends") didnt like us being friends. Unsure why but its in the past now.We kept in touch....well i still make the effort to try and talk to him over msn, he doesnt talk to many people online so if we do talk i have to be the one to start it off and everything. And if we meet up i tend to be the one that texts him.Thing is i always have trouble talking to him, not sure why i just never know what to say and if he dont seem very talkative i get upset over the stupidest thing and i think he doesnt want to talk to me. You never know how hes gonna be tbh sometimes he is talkative like with anyone but other times he doesnt really talk to me at all, as if he doesnt know what to say. I notice it both online and if we are together in person as when we met alone one he seemed so shy and nervous is was unreal, and because he was it made me shy.Something happened though not to long before christmas. We went out with some friends but they had to go early, he knew this we planned it.We did talk much at all he said hi to the others but didnt really say anything to me then we started talking abit and Whilst they were there he said "are you staying out after thewse have gone? do u want to go *to this club*) So after they left we got talking, just having fun having a laugh and talking normally. We went to this club and i was just messing about trying to take his phone off him. n he put his hand in my pocvket to try and get mine, smiling, and then i ended up on his knee, we were still playfighting and thn he i just sat there looking through his phone and i knew he had his arms round me but then he started proper cuddling me even tigher, wouldnt let go, he had his head in my hair and on my shoulder. Tbh he seemed abit werid when he did that, i cant describe it but it was very affectionate and he seemed abit nervous but like he was longing to do it. That just continued. We were play fighting again n he tried to look through my phone and it all just carried on, messing around, he was cuddling me tighter and tighter and he kept puttin his head on mine! He pushed me up after a while and took me outside and said he was sorry for everything that happened back at college(as i say we werent great!) and then we had to go inside. He sat down pulled me back on his knee and kept cuddling me, he then turned me round to face him, pulled me closer and held my hand and said he was sorry for the past again and that im a gr8 friend to him, and anything after that i couldnt hear, im unsure if anything was said after that but i didnt hear him properly anyway since the music was very loud. I just hugged him n he hugged me but it was so tightly n he wouldnt let go n he buried his head in my shoulder just like i did to him, we eventually let go and started messing around again. He kept putting his hands in my pocket to get my phone and once he just left them in there for abit, it was weird we kept cuddling again for a while and then messing around again and he kept wrapping his legs around mine. it was really strange. After about an hr he got up and said he;d be back in a minute, he came back and said come with me and he'd found one of the bigfer seats and tables so we sat there. Not cuddling anymore or anything or messing around as such, we were both a bit tired but he kept copying what i did and stuff. He had me in a head lock at one point just messing around and then he sat down and we werent talking and he just came and sat right up close to me. We werent far away to start with and then we left, we hugged when we parted as normal.Hes not the most confident guy, hes one of these big headed thinks hes funny people, like to talk but he is kinda quiet, doesnt have much confidence, he can go out and make friends easily but when it comes to anything serious hes really shy. I cant really talk to him about it right now because i havent sorted my head out and ive noticed in the past he hates confrontation. But honestly do you think what happened meant something? Also how can i talk to him more i dunno why but i never want the conversation to go dead with him so when it does i feel really bad an i know i shouldnt. Please help i hate this feeling i have.
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christmas, confidence, msn, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 January 2010):
To be honest hun he sounded drunk.
He may be all sweet and sensitive and cute, but think about this. You've liked him for ages and it's ALWAYS you that has to do the chasing.
Even if you hang round for another 3 years and he FINALLY makes a move, he's going to be the MOST useless boyfriend. You'll still have to chase him, he still won't talk to you and that's going to make you feel CRAP about yourself.
You already spend a lot of time upset by him. Things are only going to get worse.
You let him get away with this because you want him, but if you tried to get over him and spent any time with a guy who liked you, you'd realise what a complete waste of time this guy is going to be.
You can stick this out if you want but I think you would be a lot happier if you stopped chasing him and treading on egg shells and moved on.
Good Luck!! xx
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