A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel like ive made a huge mistake, i keep questioning my decision to end things with my bf of over 2 years, im heart broken..Basically i ended things with my bf over many months of silly break ups and stupid arguments, we would text and pick it up wrong and argue, everything seemed to result in an argument.. But when he was gone id miss him, we would sort things out and hed stay over and id be happy until the next time. Our fights consisted of trust and paranoia from my side from previous things which happened in our relationship that i still had doubts about. The seed was planted and it grew and it was always eating away at me i never knew if i could believe it all and i questioned everything in our relationship i felt like i was finding faults everywhere and our relationship was fallening apart. I know he tried to reassure me but things still didnt add up and i let it consume me. Other aspects of our relation were failing too, we were stuck in a rut, seen eachother seldom and didnt have a social life together, we barely knew eachothers family and werent close to eachothers friends, it was like nothing had progressed in two years, and he has a child from a previous relationship and i have two of my own, i rarely get to his son so never had a bond with him, but he was close to my kids as he pretty much lived with me for a year but moved bk home closer to work 6 months ago so we started to drift and all our arguments just escalated. Its weird coz when we would break up id miss him like crazy and just wanna be in his arms and smell his smell but when we were together it was like routine and i was bored and didnt appreciate him being here, So after yet another argument in which could have been resolved i was a bit rash in my decision and texted him sunday morning saying that i cant do this anymore i told him that i cant trust him and i feel like its destroying us, he didnt take it well things were said which i understand but i felt so bad i cried so hard i felt like i should have tried harder, then questioned myself and told myself i didnt feel fulfilled, i just feel like a selfish bitch who is never happy and will die alone, i thought he was everything i wanted in a man but when we were together i felt alone and now hes gone forever. I told him i was sorry and that i love him his reply was a quote about people walking away and that their not ment for you and all stories come to an end and this story is over... I didnt think i could or would ever feel as low at that point. I know ive lost him forever and i wish i tried harder for us, So much stuff had happened and i couldnt get over it all and it ruined everything, i ruined everything. Do you think we will ever have a future together? he was always wanting to marry me said he was saving for a ring and i pushed him away. Any advice to anyone who's gone through this Regards xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): I cant say he's a bad guy he's very settled, doesn't do drugs very rarely drinks, he doesnt go out much either, he just likes to spend time on his laptop an i started to resent him for that because i seldom saw him and when i did it was all laptop and phone.I felt like second priority all the time. Saying that i was extremely happy for the first year of our relationship he was everything my ex wasnt (alcoholic, drugs, abusive). He was a gentleman in everyway, but we clashed on so many little things, we do love eachother though he asked me to marry him 3 times but i never gave him an answer as he had no ring and i wanted it to be special for once in my life, not on my bed out of the blueBetween, sex sites and dodgy history on his laptop my paranioa grew (somebody else took the blame for all the sites he was on, an ex who tried to hurt him) but there were so many coincidences i always found myself questioning everything.. We tried to make it work, he was good to me he used to bring me to my hospital appointments and dentist that were far away he was great like that. I feel like i just didnt deserve him i obviously made him so miserable, We would break up, make up and be great for a few weeks then drama which i prob started but were both stubborn when we think were right so things always ended up worse than they should have been.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Anything is possible in my opinion, but it sounds like there were some lingering issues that never seemed to be resolved. With your final statement of saying "you were done" and your boyfriend's subsequent actions indicate to me that he grew tired of the drama as well.
What I think is interesting is that you have our figured out what was wrong and what was going wrong in your relationship -- and yet neither party truly addressed it, tried to grow from it, or worked on it to make it better. Both parties could've done something and to me that nothing was done, shows that neither party wanted to make the other happy or make the other person a priority.
Your reaction now I think is more about having someone in your life. You are suddenly finding yourself alone with the pain of a lost / failed love. What you are feeling is 100% understandable.
However, before you reach out to your boyfriend for possible reconciliation, I do hope you take some time for quiet reflection. Was he TRULY what you wanted? From everything you've written, it sounds like he wasn't truly the one. Trust and being able to be with one another are HUGE relationship makers or breakers. If those aren't there, then virtually nothing can save a relationship.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): No, you quite literally do not have a future with this guy, never OP.
OP love is not enough and that's all you had. You didn't get on at all. Always fighting, arguments, breaking up, no progress, nothing practical at all you were never partners just two people fucking that liked each other, but you literally can't stand being around each other other than the love and sex, that's it. Just love and sex, OP that's not enough for a good relationship.
Your huge mistake is not seeing that you're not compatible sooner and if you get back together because you're too weak to move on or have this silly idea you'll die alone then the shit just starts again and you waste more years of your life flogging this dead horse.
All you did was talk about dreams, bullshit about a future and then find some stupid reason to kill each other again.
OP you seem to have this fantasy about him being so amazing everytime you break up, then when you get back to the reality of being with him you realize it was bullshit, he's not amazing, he's not special he's just a person you really don't work with at all, one who bores you, one who annoys you so much there are times where you literally can't stand to even look at him. What kind of messed up relationship is that OP?
That's not one I could stand so what makes you think you could take any more of it.
If he stays away he'll do you a massive favour because it sounds to me like you're ready to beg him to come back to you, then all this shit starts again until you break up again.
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