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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,soo, this is going to be kind of long, buuut hopefully there's somebody here who can help me.it's been three weeks since my boyfriend (we'll just call him craig) and i split. he's the one who broke up with me, and even though he's said that he still loves me and misses me, he hasn't really made any move to get back with me. we've hung out a few times and texted quite a bit since the break-up, but every time i ask him to come back to me, he either doesn't say anything at all or just says, "idk."yesterday, a group of my friends (among them was a guy who we'll call griffen) took me out for lunch as a belated birthday celebration, and in the middle of our meal, my ex just happened to walk in with his roommate and his roommate's parents. well, my friends seemed to think that it would be a good and funny idea for me and griffen to walk by craig's table with our arms around each other, talking and laughing and looking like we were having funn. we did, and my ex, his roommate, and his roommate's parents (although they have never met me) all stopped talking as soon as we passed. griffen and i couldn't see their faces, but the rest of our group said that everyone at the table was staring at us shocked, and craig looked really jealous.we were in class about thirty minutes later, and craig texted me asking if i had a good lunch. i replied by saying that i did and asked him how his was, and his response was, "good till i seen that." i asked him what he was talking about, and he replied, "u n ur new guy all over each other." i replied by telling him the truth, "he's not my new guy."earlier that morning, i posted on facebook and said, "what's worse than zoology class? zoology class with *that guy*." i was talking about a guy who i don't actually know, but who bears striking resemblance to my ex...which makes going to that class really tough for me, because it makes me miss him. well, apparently, craig had seen that, because he brought it up and thought that it was about griffen. i told him that it was about somebody totally different, and before i could explain what i had been talking about, he said, "who? who else you like? that the way you was when we was together?" basically, he thought that i had been speaking in an admirable way about being in class with *that guy*. then, once i told him that it was a guy who looked a lot like him that i WASN'T happy to be around because it made me miss him even more, he asked who the guy was and how he looked like him.eventually, i broke down and asked him if he still loves me, and he said that he does. soo, then, i asked him to come back to me, but all he said was, "idk." he told me that he's not with anybody else and said he misses me...buuut obviously, we're not back together.my question is, what should i conclude from his reaction? do you think he really does still care about me? and do you think this might be a sign that we might get back together at some point?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaunt honesty,
thanks for your response; i really appreciate it. as for the guy's reason for breaking up with me, our relationship was kind of in a rut from august to october. before then, everything had been wonderful...until he suddenly decided that he wasn't happy anymore. the week before we broke up, he confessed to me that NOTHING makes him happy anymore, and nothing is funn to him anymore. basically, he's depressed...and given the things that he's been through recently, i can understand why. and don't apologize--my behavior WAS immature. thanks again for your answer. ")
A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Hello annon,
I'm afraid as much as you want your ex back in your life, he's not coming back to you.
He more than likely cares about you, it takes a while after a relationship for the final feelIings to disappear but they do and for a while and three weeks isn't very long. During the transition period there's are all sorts of feelings, mostly could it have been different if X,Y,Z didn't happen, if she was X,Y,Z different but he is telling you "I don't know" he's actually saying No but I still care a bit and don't want to hurt your feelings.
He may "love" you id say that's more "care about your feelings" but he is not in love with you anymore.
Breakups are hard, you need to break free, for your own sanity, delete his number, email and don't get in touch it's the only way you can try to move on and be happy. You don't have to explain yourself to him anymore, don't tell him why you wrote what you wrote its no longer anything to do with him, the fact he is asking isnt because he wants to get back with you he's in my opinion trying to control you in some way, he's more than likely flattered to some extent that your still "after" him, I'm sure he doesn't mean to act like that but that's what's happening.
Time to move on lady
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 It does sound like he does care about you, just because he broke up with you doesn't mean that his feelings just disappeared for you. You don't mention what his reasons where for breaking up with you, I guess it would help if you could add that.
Walking arm in arm with another guy right in front of him was obviously going to hurt him, am sorry but that is quite immature behaviour and if you are wanting to get back with him this is not the right path to go down, you might think making him jealous will bring him back to you, but it will only make him dislike you for doing that in front of him. Don't play games with his emotions. At the end of the day he obviously has his reasons as to why he broke up with you and you both need to talk about these reasons and try and work on those.
I don't know what the future holds for the both of you. It is quite clear at the moment he is just not ready to be with you. But he needs to be more open with you about his intentions because it is not fair of him to keep you hanging on. You both just need to talk about this openly. Good luck.
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