A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all, il try and keep it short, and thankyou for your answers in advance.Im 18 years old and in my last year of sixth form, and i basically need some advice on whether im being too paranoid that somethings going to go wrong, or whether i actually have a reason to worry.In august i split up with my ex boyfriend of 1year and 7 months, he was posseive, controlling and abusive and it got to point where i wasnt allowed to see friends anymore or go out without him. I ended it earlier on in the may but his mum persuaded me to get back with him. This relationship left me quite paranoid that somethings going to go wrong with any other relationship i have, which brings me to the point of the question.I always had an attraction to a boy in the year above, (He stayed on for an extra year) and so did pretty much every other girl, there was something about him nobody could quite put there finger on. The only problem being he was in a relationship with a girl he had been with for two years, he ended there relationship in novemember, and straight away another girl jumped in, and everyone thought they were going to be together, but by the begining of december everything between them had been called off, and she was already with somebody else. This was the beginging of me and him, in the end of december it started off as just drunken kisses when we went out, it became almost every time that when we went out me and this boy would end up cuddled up in a corner somewhere. Then in january he created a msn account and a facebook and added me, every night when i would sign on he would speak to me, and me and other people noticed that he would watch me in school, i often caught him staring, which was cute.We continued to get to no each other, and then when it came to having a week off school we spent everyday together, going out with friends or just the two of us. Then in the middle of february me and him got together, and everything has been perfect since then, which scares me. Im used to arguements and fighting, but its been amazing, too good to be true which is whats making me so paranoid. I keep thinking that im his rebound girl and ive told him this, and he doesnt stop stressing about how much im not, even if it was three months after his relationship ended. Ive met his ex girlfriend at a party, and she told me that she had alot of respect for him, and that he was a really good guy. He makes me feel like nobody else matters, he makes everything about me, he'l ask me what i want to do, and my opinion on things. Im not used to this at all. Im close to one of his best friends, and have been for along time and he says that he's always talking about me, and that everything they say he finds away to relate it back to me. He told me how they have never seen him so happy with someone, and he said to me himself that he's never had feelings like this towards a girl before, and how he feels stupid for falling so hard for me so fast. We recently slept together for the first time and afterwards he told me he loved me, but he felt silly saying it.Do you think i have a reason to worry about this? Or do you think i should just accept that he likes me? I cant stop thinking that im just his rebound girl, as im the first girl after his last relationship.
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best friend, drunk, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, msn, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): I don't think you are his rebound girl, the first girl he dated was. It seems like you two have taken some time to get to know each other.
You are in the honeymoon stage though where you are infatuated and projecting a lot which means he may not have all the qualities that you think he does, and having sex sort of makes it even harder to take the rose colored glasses off and see him as he truly is.
It takes a long time to get to know someone's character and true personality, but the fact that his ex of 2 years gave him a good reference says a lot about him as a man.
You want to be sure that you don't spend all of your free time with him and keep your own life going, though, if you don't he will start to think you are too clingy and he most likely will pull away from you.
Having more friends and activities of your own will go along way towards helping you feel more secure, I'm just saying don't change who you are for a man.
I hope that you are on the pill and are practicing safe sex. You both should be tested for STD's before having unprotected sex, and you need birth control.
Take care.
A
female
reader, Miharu44  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Its sounds like you are on cloud 9,he really does love you and you really do love him you are jus afraid to exsept it because of your past relationships,and maybe the way you have seen your parents act,But don't let any of that get in the way of you and the one you love! =^w^= I'm so jealouse of you! It's not every day that you meet someone so nice and loving!
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