A
female
age
51-59,
*ety
writes:Hello. It's been a lot of time that i haven't written in this column. In the meantime i have got over my ex-boyfriend for ever i think. I don't have feelings for him any more. However, i would like to be friends with him now and have only fun together going out. But it's really difficult something like that because if we meet each other he would ask for more things so i keep a distance from him at the moment and we speak only at phone sometimes. In the meantime, my relation with my husband has remained the same as before that is i don't feel relax when i am with him, i don't feel secure with him or the feeling that i can trust him (excluding relations matters). I feel sometimes that he feels jealous about me and he won't want to say or i am felling that we compete each other without reason. However we have sex in order to make a baby but it hasn't happened yet. I put all these feelings aside for a period of time. However, the only thought that makes me enthousiastic at the present time is the thought of a new man that invokes feelings to me. We are only friends with him. I don't even know if he has a girlfriend, i don't ask personally questions to him. He knows that i have been married but i don't speak for that matter with him. Although i have feelings for him i haven't ever spoken to him about these because i fear that he maybe reject these feelings and perhaps i make him feel uncomfortable with me, something i definetey don't want to happen. So i don't speak about personal feelings with him only i am polite and i don't refuse his company whenever is the occasion. I can't really see if he is interested in something more than friendship with me. Every time i meet him there are always other persons around and women that i think that they liked him too. He is the only person that i have an intimacy even as a friendship at the moment. I don't want to get over my marriage. But do you think that i have any hope with the new man? Do you think that it's best not to say about my true feelings at him because other way there is the possibility to lose him at all?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): This may sound harsh, but I think you need to leave your husband if you can and definitely NOT have a child with someone you cannot trust -
Your married unhappily, you have just left one boyfriend and are now looking for another, it makes no sense to me although I hate to be judgemental. I see no happiness for you until you sort out why you are remaining in a loveless marriage trying to escape that unhapainess with various men.
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