A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my ex met wen i was 18 and she was 16 we was going out for about six months wen she told me she loved me and i felt the same but about a month later one of her friends started texting me and we became close i ended up seeing both of them on and off for about 6 months it all came to a dramatic end when they caught me out and they both didnt want to see me any more. but after about a week i realised that i was so stupid and should never have cheated on my gf because i was truly in love with her i was devastated but she would not return my calls or anything about a year went by and i bumped into her we started talking and ended up going for a drink it was jus like it used to be we was laughing and joking and i knew i was still in love with her we seen each other a few more times until over the next few weeks until she text me saying she coudnt do it cos of what hapend in the past it broke my heart but i gave her space and we didnt speak for about another year because i moved away wen i moved back i bumped into her mum who told me shed had a bf who hit her i was very upset i felt like id let her down by not bieng there and told her mum to get her to phone me she did a few week later and we got together i was so happy to see her and all the feelings i had came flushing back and i knew i still loved her but as we started seeing more of each other about a month she text me sayin she was sorry she still liked me but she cudent get back with me because of what happend in the past i tried ringin her loads ov times but she wouldnt anser i ended up texting her back explaining that i was so young and stupid i didnt realise my true feelings for her till i lost her but i didnt get any where. its bin three months since then and a mutual friend just got married which i was invited i knew my ex would b there so i rang my friend on the wedding night to congratulate her and to tell her i wasnt going but to my surprise my ex came on the fone and wanted me to come so i went for one drink near the end i spoke to my ex and we shared a few jokes but the subject of (us) didnt cum up but i know i am still madly in love with her and dont want no one else i think she still has feelings for me but its so hard bieng friends wen all i want to do is be with her i just dont know what to do i want her back but seeieng her hurts cos i cant have her. i jus wish she would give me n her another go its been nearly 4 years since we first met and my feelings are still here i jus wish i woldent have cheated on her wen we were first together i was jus young and stupid.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): you did he ultimate betrayal thing what with not only cheating on her butwith her close friend too. this is really unforgivable. (or perhaps unforgettable)
you have hurt her soooo much, but she is scared. and who can blame her. you have learnt such a harsh lesson so early in your life. no matter how young you are, cheating just isn't right. so now no matter how much you claim to love this girl, she would not want her heart to be trampled on again.
this girl needs a medal, in fact i actually admire her. in spite of perhaps loving you she realises what you put her through and she doesn't want to go down that path again. she is standing her ground and yes you can be her friend but nothing else. have you heard of the once bitten, twice shy concept. this is true with your ex. she is fearful, and rightly so.
next time do the honourable thing and end one relationship before starting another. i think this girl has suffered enough at your hands so please release her. she deserves better.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (30 September 2009):
 Unfortunately your ex is still fuming over you going out with a friend of hers. Young and stupid or not, it probably hurt her very deeply and so, despite all else, she's basically punishing you.
The only way to fix this with her, is to sit down with her if you can, and tell her that you would do anything to take away the pain and humiliation that she felt when she learned about you cheating on her; and, that you have suffered every day ever since and are so upset about it that you're ashamed of yourself. You need to use these words.
Then, of course, you could tell her that she's the only one you ever truly loved and no one else compares to her, no matter how hard you try.
Finally, you just have to ask her to forgive you finally and tell her that you don't expect her to ever take you back or even trust you; but that if she ever did, you've learned your lesson and that she's the only one for you.
Now that's how you do it, but again it all depends on how receptive to you she's going to be and how forgiving she would like to be.
It sounds to me she's carried this grudge around for a long time.
Girls do that, and believe me when something happens like that when they're very young teens, they don't ever forget it. Therefore, you have to convince her that you've so changed that the thought of ever doing something like that would never ever enter your mind again.
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