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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My husband went and got another phone app on his phone. He told me it is to save money. But our current phone plan is only $25 a month. The new one is $20 a month and he went so far as to go through the trouble of switching to an app you can load on your phone that is only $5 cheaper. There is no tracking, so what he does with the new phone number? And in the end, it is hardly any money saved. So WHY bother doing all that? Lately I told him I noticed he was using Whatsapp more often. And he made excuses about opening it by accident or having notifications off so he has to open the app to see if he has messages. For a man who told me he hardly uses it, he seems to open it "accidentally" a lot and show interest a lot in something he hardly uses. He has Whatsapp, he has a regular phone. Then he had to load this app and change his phone to a new number. But the timing is suspect. It seems after I noticed his increased Whatsapp usage, he did this. Because a phone app does NOT HAVE LAST ACTIVE TIME STAMPS like Whatsapp. It is all done behind the scenes with no tracking of activity whatsoever. And I see no reason why any person needs to keep adding APPS when they have everything they need already??? He had a phone and he has Whatsapp. And to save only $5? None of it makes sense. I feel like he is using an app to talk to someone else, trying to say it's to save money but that is just some fake excuse to LEGITIMATELY have another number. He is trying to cheat by not hiding apps but by telling me he has an app. Thinking that it is all above board? And that justifies what he is trying to hide?What would you do in my shoes?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2021): If you are going to decide the fate of your marriage on a bunch of stranger's opinions who do not know you, your husband or your marriage history, I would say that is NOT SMART OP.
This could be something completely INNOCENT!!
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (19 April 2021):
 I agree his phone activites are rather suspicious, but we have no real concrete evidence that he is doing anything wrong.
Trust is one of the biggest factors that bind a relationship togther, without trust a relationship will naturally break down over the course of time.
I think if you want this relationship to work then communication is the key here.
Apart from the phone app thing are there any other area's of your relationship that he is displaying worrying signs in?.
I don't really think going through his phone while he is somewhere else is a good idea, so voice your concerns to him, and see what his reaction is. You can often tell by someone reaction if they are up to no good or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2021): "I feel like he is using an app to talk to someone else, trying to say it's to save money but that is just some fake excuse to LEGITIMATELY have another number. He is trying to cheat by not hiding apps but by telling me he has an app. Thinking that it is all above board? And that justifies what he is trying to hide?"
That's what it seems to me pretty much! It also appears that he doesn't have much respect for your intelligence. Why does he need an extra phone, and hide the activity on it? Has he offered you free-access to it?
Girlfriend, hubby's phone activities are quite suspicious!
You have only intuition or a hunch to go by; but no real evidence at this point. He's covering his tracks like a spy; or someone avoiding being traced or tracked by law-enforcement. What are his political views and what types of people does he keep for friends? Does he ascribe to any radical-ideologies? Cheating might be the least of your worries!
Simply tell him what you suspect that he's up to. Give him a wink; and then tell him, it's only a matter of time...and eventually he'll slip-up, if it's not above-board! If it's women, they'll make sure you'll find-out!
Once that's been said, don't mention another word about it. Let him sit and stew on that. Just observe. You cannot act on nothing but suspicion. Just be vigilant! Wait and see!
Cheaters ALWAYS get caught! It's too weird and elaborate to make any real sense of it. If it was totally innocent, seems he'd let you have full-access without question.
Personally?!! I'd consult with a lawyer in the meantime; to make sure you're not implicated in any criminal-activity. Have your legal-ducks in a row; if you might need to consider a divorce. Act only on evidence; not conjecture, or from drawing wild conclusions. It would all make sense for the 20-somethings; not married-men over-40! They shouldn't hide things from their wives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2021): It's strange.I know all couples are different, so my example may be useless...My husband and I do not lock our phones. I sometimes use his to take photos (better camera), he sometimes uses mine to download stuff (faster internet, we have different providers). If he is in the shower and his phone rings he'd ask me to answer it. If he suddenly was to start locking his pone, buying a second phone, etc. I would find it extremely weird. If he would do this I'd ask him what's going on. If he were to become evasive, well, then I'd definitely know that something was up.But what exactly... difficult to tell.There are so many behaviors some people would hide. Cheating is just one of them. Gambling? Some illicit business? Who knows but I would confront him about it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 April 2021):
 That IS weird.
Have you asked him to show you his phone? While personally, I don't get the whole "go through a partner's phone" but some couples do this, and are OK with it.
Besides this app thing, has he made other changes?
Does he come home later? Have "overtime" that he isn't actually paid for? Having to go to meetings all of a sudden? Is he unreachable at times? Taking better care of how he dresses? His overall grooming?
If it's JUST this app, then maybe there is more going on but what exactly, is impossible to guess.
Have you asked him and pointed out how "saving" $5 doesn't make sense?
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