A
female
age
30-35,
*acy31
writes:My boyfriend just broke up with me, well its been almost 3 weeks and i was wondering if you think he will come back? He has dumped me many many times because i would always crawl back to him but the longest we've been apart was 5 days!now its 3 weeks! He msged me a couple times but i just ignored because i didnt want to get upset. He said hello.. Fine dont talk to me.. See i knew we couldnt be friends . Then another day he msgs me see i told you you would hook up with someone when we broke up. (As if i would never do that) then i heard loud subs so i looked out my window and there he was driving by looking up at my window im pretty sure he saw me lol pretty embarrassing! Oh yeah he has no reason to pass my house at all so i dont understand.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 June 2011):
Leave him well in the past.
A
female
reader, lacy31 +, writes (12 June 2011):
lacy31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want him back i know its stupid BUT should i reply to the last msg about me being immature??
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A
female
reader, lacy31 +, writes (12 June 2011):
lacy31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers guys!! He msg me again today saying .. Lol i thought you were more mature than that but i guess not (must have noticed i had deleted him off facebook) im not replying but i did it because i would i dont want to keep checking his profile.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 June 2011):
This guy is pathetically embarrassing and immature! More to the point, he's actually emotionally abusive in a clever way. Seriously, why on earth be with someone like this? Anyway, her's my list of reasons to avoid.
All he ever seems to do is dump you, then get you to crawl back. This is a psychological trick that many emotional abusers use in order to gain control over you. What happens is that you'll start to get a little to 'independent', or a little too 'confident', so an abuser will find a reason to dump you and blame you. This makes you feel bad, so you crawl back. He'll then take you back because you're in a position where you'll do anything he wants. So you go back, be good, do as he says and the cycle starts again.
The next classic sign of an emotional abuser is the texting. He leaves it, then starts to text to remind you that he's there. When you don't respond, he twists the reasons to make it that you are at fault. "Fine - don't talk to me. See, I knew we couldn't be friends". So he's blaming you, EVEN THOUGH he dumped you and treated you badly in the first place! And then there's the "I told you you'd hook up with someone if we broke up" - yet again, blaming you for something, even though he dumped you and you are entirely free to do what you want.
Finally, he turned up at your house playing loud music, staring up at you. To be honest, this is pretty creepy. It suggests that he'll just wait around and be there whatever happens. That will start to make you feel uncomfortable at some point, and it suggests that he's weird enough to make it worse for you.
I actually think that you need to move on. This guy isn't right in the head. He seems pretty emotionally abusive and creepy to me. I think if you go back this will just get worse. The more I think about this guy, the more I realize your life would be better without him.
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