A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story cut short - try to anyway.My sister is 35 years old and I am 19 years old. When I was 16, I fell pregnant. I decided to keep my baby and she didn't want me to. My mum and dad supported me thankfully and I had a daughter who is now almost 3. I fell pregnant again at 18 (she didn't know about this pregnancy as she told me she'd have nothing to do with me if I didn't abort the first.) So pretty much, I am almost 20 with two kids. It's not good, I don't think much of teen pregnancy, but I am doing the best I can. I study full time and I have a good friendship with my children's Father. Anyway, My sister got engaged, she didn't tell my Mother because she supported the pregnancies. She got married, didn't tell my Mother again. This upset my Mum as she found out through a "third party". Then, she fell pregnant in 2010.. didn't tell Mum. Had a stillborn, didn't tell her. And now, she's had another baby, Mum doesn't know. I only know because her Facebook isn't exactly private. My question is, do you think it's a little 'wrong' for her not to want to have anything to do with my Mum? My mum did NOTHING. She supported ME so I feel guilty that Mum has been left out and in the dark, so to speak. :(
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female
reader, asd123  +, writes (3 August 2012):
This is is very strange, I don't think that's right the way your is treating you. Teen pregnancy is a hard situation to deal with and your parents were right for sticking by your side. I think your sister shuold have been more supportive towards when you needed it and she has no right to tell whether to keep your children. I think you should tell your mother about what yousaw on facebook, because if you don't she is going to be hurt that she didn't know and twice as hurt that you know and didn't say smuthing. Try talking to you sister in person and find out her problem is because the way she has been treating and your family is unacceptable. I.don't see any legitimate reason for her behavior, I think there is more going on than just being mad over your two teenage pregnancies
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): No she doesn't stay in contact with ANYONE. Although there isn't many of us - she doesn't take to our brother, mother, her father, she did talk to Grandma but she died.
She could be? Im not sure.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Is it possible your sister is in an abusive relationship and is being controlled by her husband?
It does sound very sad and very peculiar. Does she remain in contact with any of her old friends or other family members?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): Well.. she never fell pregnant as a teenager no. But we were never extremely close. She wanted a baby when I fell pregnant but wasn't in a stable relationship. I assume it was a little bit of jealousy. I invited her to my baby shower - she didn't come. I messaged her when I gave birth - she abused me.
My Mum was really good to her and loaned her $14000 when she was broke (my sister never paid it back however) .. But it's just weird. Her husband could possibly be behind it, as it was when she met him she went very distant... :(
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 August 2012):
This is a very unusual situation, and so I must apologise in advance if I’ve misunderstood it as I had to read it through several times. Your sister sounds like she has cut your mother out of her life, because your mother supported you through your pregnancies. What’s most strange about this is why your sister is so hostile to you, and anyone who supported you during your pregnancy. The problem is that without any obvious reason for that hostility, which is really extreme, it’s hard to know what to make of all this. Is what you’re sister doing wrong? It’s certainly very cruel, and she must know that this rejection is bound to be hurtful to you and your parents, and you should certainly tell her how hurt you all are. But even if it is wrong, in her mind there’s bound to be some reason for this, even if you don’t agree with it. Did she somehow feel left out when you got pregnant for the first time? Was it about a lack of attention? Did she experience anything similar when she was younger and your parents, or others who had influence over her, took a different approach to that taken with your first pregnancy, and that is why she resents them? There is clearly something going on here that you don’t know, because it should be obvious to you why she’s so full of anger. Either there’s something in her past, which either you don’t know about or you do and haven’t talked about it in your post, or she’s found some aspect of your mother’s behaviour and actions really hurtful. The trouble is, without talking to her about this, it’s really anyone’s guess I’m afraid. You should tell your mother about what you’ve learned from your sister’s facebook. You must also not feel guilty: this is your sister’s problem. Your parents did the right thing sticking by you and they will not be regretting that choice, so don’t allow yourself to feel responsible for your sister’s choices.
I wish you all the very best.
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