A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy, and when he found out he said he liked me too. Thing is he kept me hanging for ages, and I had no clue where I stood with him. Turns out he also liked one of my best friends, and she happened to like him back. Nothing happened though, my friend moved on and has now found someone she likes much more. She told him this, which made me think I may have had a chance. After this happened he cleared everything up with me, apologised and promised he would seriously think about going out. At this point I really thought I had a chance. After this he seemed nicer towards me and talked to me a little more. He even invited me to the cinema once. Thing is, he finally said it had to be a no. He said that maybe he wasn't the right person for me, but someone else was. But then he made it even more complicated by saying I should keep my hopes up, and maybe he just needs time to realise it.I just don't know what to do. I want to hold on to that little bit of hope, because I'll give him all the time he wants. I love him so much, and the thought of never being with him really hurts because he's everything i've ever wanted. My friends all say it's just a silly crush and I should move on. But they just don't understand, because it's so much more than that. DO you think I should just wait it out, perhaps I still have a chance with him? Or should I just forget it? Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): I've recently been through almost exactly the same problem, so i know exactly what you mean when you describe how it's hard to jus move on. I'm guessin you love spending time with him, and can't stop thinkig about him when you're not with him, so that's why you are going to be there whenever he feels like it.
But at the end of the day as much as you don't want to admit it, it sounds like he doesn't have that much respect for you if he's been stringing you along like this. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care, it's probably the case that he likes you so much he didn't want to hurt you by rejecting you in the first place, and that's why he has aloud you two to get close.
But you're just going to get even more hurt if you end up being there whenever he decides he's changed his mind.
Believe me i've been there.
My advice is to remain close, but just friends, this might seem hard if you feel the way you do, but it'll be better then just never speaking again. You may even find a friendship will be more fullfilling, without the anxieties of relationship confusion.
Good luck woth everything :)
xxx
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (12 May 2007):
 I think you forget him. However perfect and wonderful this gy is, what's he's basically said is that h doesn't want you but he'd like you to hang around in case he ever does. If he throws you random shows of affection you'll be more likely to be there for him when he needs a girlfriend or more likely a sex partner. It's ok to be upset about the end of a relationship but I would really advise moving on from this guy and find someone who loves you, respects you and wants to be with you all at the same time.
CD
CD
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