A
female
age
36-40,
*allaZine
writes:I met this guy at a training course a few months ago. We kept in touch over the past few months, emails, texts etc. He asked me out for a coffee ages ago but we never seemed to get round to meeting up. Partly because of nerves on his part, I think (and mine to be honest). We both met two weeks ago and it was lovely. We just chatted for a while and I found out more about him and his life etc. He is a very interesting guy and what I liked was how attentive and interested he was in everything I was saying. He is a real gentleman, but like I said very shy akthough he seemed less guarded the more we spoke. It seems that he has been hurt before by his family - both physically and emotionally (his father, like mine is violent) and by a previous relationship so he finds it difficult to trust people. I have also been hurt in the past, I think maybe that's why I am cautious and so is he. I sent him a message a few days ago saying that I hope he has a nice break - as it's half term and he wont be at college. I was hoping he would suggest meeting again, but he text back wishing me a good week too - very polite but as usual careful. I decided to text him today to suggest meeting up as I have the week off work (i work in a school). I know he'll take a while to reply as he usually does but im very nervous about his response. The main thing is I dont want to come across as pushy. Do you think I should always wait to hear from him first? There always seems to be a rule that 'the guy should contact the girl first'. But what do you do when someone is interested in you and you like him too but he is very shy about making the first move?Guys...I'd like to know what you think too...
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 He may well be interested in you, but the question is, at what level? The thing is, that even if he's very shy, you have kept in touch since you first met at the training school, and met in person once since then. People can be shy, busy, hurt by previous relationships (he wasn't so shy that he didn't have a girlfriend in the past!) but if a man is keen enough, he will ask you out again.
By all means send him a text to suggest getting together next week and see what he says. If he goes for it, all well and good (and after that, let HIM be the one to suggest a third date).
Good luck!
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