A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a friend I'll call Alexa. We met about 18 months ago and hit it off well. We were FWB; at one time I think I had a thing for her, but we remained friends more than anything else. She is a very "sensitive" girl imo. She can take the littlest thing the wrong way and walk away from a relationship or friendship just like that. So we became closer via myspace (we live about 75 miles from each other). Whenever I saw her we'd just talk about mutual people we knew more than anything else. There was a girl in particular (we'll call ashley) who we both knew from mutual friends but neither of us had met. Well this past winter I met ashley and when she found out, Alexa became kinda jealous asking if I still meant it when I said I liked her(alexa). I told her of course. A couple weeks later I planned to get together with Alexa and things were fine but the day before she didn't text or email me like she usually does. The day of nothing, and the next two days nothing. I was a little sad but surprised I didn't hear from her, particularly when her myspace page said she was logging into myspace the entire time. On the third day she finally contacted me apologizing profusely about not being able to see me. I told her no problem.Except that I was a little upset about what happened and told a another friend of mine that I was basically left high and dry by Alexa. Well I told this friend that and it was about 5 hours later I heard from Alexa. Unfortunatly a couple days later someone told her what I said. She didn't confront me with it immediately and I didn't know she knew right away. But she kept telling me how she was betrayed by a friend and she didn't want to confront him, etc, etc. I told her then if you didn't feel right with him, drop him. That was the last I heard from her. She didn't talk to me for a month until finally I realized she had to be talking about me and I felt bad. So I sent her an apology and took the blame. She thanked me for writing but said I was in the wrong, she never confirmed out date and therefore I had no right telling anyone she left me high and dry (kinda funny considering all the email and text apologies she sent me 3 days after our missed date but whatever). After that I gave her some space and but continued to drop her a note from time to time. No response. The entire time she was no.1 on my myspace friends; the other girl Ashley had become no.2. AFter not hearing from her in 2 months and only once in 3 months, I bumped Alexa to no2 on myspace and moved Ashley, who had been talking to me occasionally, to no1. The next time Alexa logged into myspace, she deleted me as a friend.On the one hand I know I was wrong and admitted it. But I found it funny that for someone who didn't want to talk to me, she was still my friend on myspace....at least until I moved her to no. 2. I also find the myspace ranking issue funny because last year she got upset when for 2 days I moved her to no 4. The entire time I knew her I think I was no. 339 out of 345 friends she had.Anyway, despite everything she was still my friend and I miss her. I don't really even care if the "with benefits" agreement is still there or not, I just would like to go back to being friends with her. Do any aunts have any advice on what I could say in an email? or does it seem like she's too sensitive to let the past go and I should just move on? thanks
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jealous, move on, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. For our past friendship, I think I'll drop her a note this weekend just saying hi. If she doesn't respond, I'm moving on.
Thanks again.
A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (7 August 2009):
You can try to contact her but I have a feeling you will keep going around in circles if you apologized and she accepted then that should have been the end of the drama. What does it matter what rank you are on the friends list that is just dumb. You can try to give her one more try, but I bet she is just jealous and is lashing out because you have already cleared the air so what is the problem if you miss her that much then give her another try. If after you contact her she keeps doing this type of stuff then maybe you should accept the fact that maybe she has changed. Good Luck I don't think just saying she left you high and dry is a bad thing, you could have said worse things if you get my drift.
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A
male
reader, deadduderc +, writes (7 August 2009):
It sounds like that girl will never get over what happened, so it's probably best if you move on. The only possibility to patch things up would be through mutual friends, but based on what you have said, I doubt even they could help out at this point.
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