A
female
age
30-35,
*unshinedaydream
writes:We dated for 3 months and were together everyday i slept at his house almost everynight and anyone would have thought we were together for 3 years because we got along so well we also had plans to move off together sometime in the year. I started picking fights with him about 2 months into it which i thought were justified at the time but were really out of insecurity. We argued about me not getting a job and he called me a mooch many of times. 1'm 18 he's 23We got into a huge fight Last saturday night because i went through his phone while he was sleeping, saw where he planned to meet up with an old ex to chat or w/e. So i woke him up talking shit and we got into a serious Fight. I slapped him twice and we yelled and said really mean things to eachother. We also pushed eachother around some. then he told me to leave and that he was done with me. I called him the next morning to see if we could work things out but he said he was too furious to talk to me and would call me later. He called on wednesday and said that he had thought about it and we shouldn't get back together. I told him i was willing to change my behavior and get a job and that everything he said about me was true. I apologized for the fight and was sincere he said he appreciated it. I asked for a second chance he said not a good idea i explained myself some more and asked like 2 more times but he said maybe at a later date, I then said tell me the truth because i dont want to wait around, He didn't think he would ever get back with me. He also said the main reason for the breakup was because of our fighting and me hitting him.I accepted this and changed my tone into friendly and told him i was sorry it had to end like this and that i really was a cool person and that i didn't want him to think of me like that. He said no hard feelings, i have a lot of respect for you and still care for you alot. I then said that i'm sure we'll see eachother around and he said yeah probably and we got off the phone. The end party sounded too friendly for my liking.I told him the next day to come get his house key from my mom and she needed something of hers i let him borrow, he replied saying you still have makeup, shoes, bracelet over here Lol. Ill round it up tonight. That was thursday and he hasn't been here to return anything Why is that?Anyways we both got invited to a big party in his neighborhood while we were still together, And it's tonight, I have 2 guy friends who want me to go with them and the other people i know there will be mutual friends and such. There is also a possibility he could be there with that ex he met up with if they happened to have gotten back together. Do you think i should still go? Will he think im going just to see him? and how should I act?I'm trying to get him back eventually (not right now, we both need some time apart)
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male
reader, Alwayswondering  +, writes (22 August 2010):
First off, you're in the wrong. You guys have dated for 3 months? I'm wondering why you would go through his personal information. You guys are not married. You guys have been dating for three months. With the hitting on top of this, I don't know. If I was him, I would run away without looking back because it seems you are too controlling. It's not a crime to be friends with an ex companion. If he forgives you, which I think he has, then you are lucky to have a friend like him. My last companion picked fights because she had a controlling personality and wanted to change me. Please don't turn to be a bitch like her. Don't change yourself either. I disagree with the violence though. Please change that... Violence is not good. How would you feel if he hit you like you hit him? It would hurt physically and emotionally. My advice would be, let things play out. I know, you have this urge to talk to this person. This is something that I did after my last person and I fought, and I was the one who "fixed" things first by making contact first. You said you were sorry, it is up to him to think about what has happened, and for him to make a decision. Be warned, it seems like this may not happen. You are 18 yearsold, you have a lot of time. Sorry if this doesn't help.
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