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Do you think his feelings really faded after our argument or he's trying to control me?

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Question - (25 September 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *orothea writes:

I recently had quite a serious arguement with my lover, who lives abroad, and sent him some nasty emails. Now we have made up but when I ask him he says he doesnt love me quite as much as he did, but that the love will probably come back. Is this a bit of a controlling thing to say? Or do you think his feelings really have faded a bit?

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A male reader, mrvhappy United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2010):

Hi there,

I have had a similar experience once. I had an v bad arguement with an ex once, a long time ago, because, I didnt want to go on hol with her (well it wasnt a hol she was gonna be on a training course and I would have had to do my own thing apart from bed time)

I saw a different side of her that time (was early into the realtionship and she asked me to leave her place which i did.), which surprised me and did kill some of the feelings that I had for her.

I didnt contact her for the rest of the week (as I wasnt sure about th realtionship and the way that she suddenly blew) until she finally called me. We talked and got back together, but things were definately different.

Be prepared!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010):

It would depend on the nature of the emails...if you were nasty about him needing to email more, be more romantic, do this or that, it may be a control issue. But if it was more personal then I think it is a natural response.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010):

The old saying ~sticks and stones may break my bones, but, words will never hurt me~ are not true. Words can and do destroy relationships. The cause wounds, and that is what he is telling you. You have hurt him, and it will take time for that to heal. You damaged his trust in you. He is not trying to control you in my opinion, just being honest.

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