A
female
age
,
*ue24
writes:I have been seeing a man for 8 months who I met on the internet. He lives 250 miles away from me and we've been communting to each others places in turns about every 3 weeks. We decided we wanted to live together and I was going to move up to be with him, putting my house up to rent and finding a new job where he lives. Nearly 2 weeks ago he rang and told me that he couldn't afford to keep on seeing me as he must do overtime every night and weekend to pay bills. He also said he's not sure he wants anyone to move in with him yet and doesnt know when he will be ready for that. I think he's just got cold feet. What do you think? I want to call him and talk to him about things. I'd like to still see him even if it's only during our holidays until he is ready for me to move in.
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 March 2007):
 Dating someone from time to time and having someone move in and live with you are two very different things. Although he likes you and enjoys your company, he's being honest with you and letting you know that he's not ready for you to move in with him yet. This doesn't mean he doesn't want to see you any more, he just needs some time to think about it all. You would be moving to a completely new town, giving up your house and your job, a lot for any man to ask unless he was 100 per cent sure which of course he's not.
I wouldn't take it too personally though. Just carry on seeing him the way you have been and see if your relationship deepens with time.
Eve
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