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female
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anonymous
writes: quite a few times ive suspected my partner of cheating on me, having read messages on his mobile phone, but when ive asked him about it he says hes not doing anything and these girls are just his friends. today i was supposed to be meeting him at pub to meet a new friend of his, but then he told me it was a guys night and he was going back to his friends to have a few drinks soon. so i thought fair enough, but something didnt sound right. i then went for a drink with my friend, and i told her i was worried that something wasnt right and thats when she told me that her fella had seen my bloke with someone he thought was me, but it wasnt, it was another lass. i cant do or say anything without proof, so any ideas on how to find out for certain? i may be putting 2 and 2 together and making five, i know if i ask him he wont admit it.. so please help me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Honestly...ask him plain and simple. Although it may sound dum b to do the high-school "he said she said" deal...tell him that you've been having a hard time trusting him. But be prepared with reasons to back it up. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. He has cheated on me before...well more than once. Strange as it sounds...I found out through friends and confronted him about it. Once you have someone to back you up, which you obviously do, he will have no choice but to admit his mistake, if there is any. Unfortunately in my case, one of the times I found out he cheated months after it had happened, which devastated me even more thinking of all the time I was blindsided and felt that his cheating was finally over. Please do yourself a favor and confront the problem while it's still present. For one, you will give yourself a chance to decide if he is worth your tears or not. Plus, it would be better to find out now, rather than upset yourself and wonder if anything ever happened, when it might still be going on. Good luck with everything! Being one whose felt this pain before...you're not alone hun and props for your courage! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): take him out of a nice meal and have way though a good chat say i want to take a brake i know your cheating and i neded time to think. he should confess after that
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (25 February 2007):
 Quite a few times you`ve suspected your partner has been cheating on you. I wonder how much he`s been cheating, and how much you`re worried that he might! If you have no concrete evidence, then it could be, perhaps that you have a "low self esteem". None of us Agony Aunts can tell you for sure if he`s cheating or not; but i`m sure all of my colleagues will agree with me when I say:- 1/ In any relationship, you can only give of your best. 2/ Have faith in yourself, and your worth. 3/ You are a lovely person, or else your partner wouldn`t have dated you in the first place! 4/ Should things go wrong, don`t blame yourself, try not to "dwell". Instead of worrying, about things that are not definate at the moment; I would love to see you "building yourself up", most Librarys run confidence boosting courses, and you could always look in the mirror! You`re a great lass! Please try to focus on all your Positive Traits, as indeed other men see you. There`s an expression, "walk tall", please walk with confidence; and others will see it too. Most men admire a confident woman, and do not apprtiate our worries/concerns, etc, (especially when we`re surrounded by "perfect women" in magazines, TV, etc!). If you want to talk further, you can always email me, i`d love to be of more help. Kind Regards, Heather.
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A
female
reader, kadey07  +, writes (24 February 2007):
Well this is kinda low, but if your desperate to find out if hes cheating you could find out where his next 'guys night' is and go to the same place and see if theres any girls around. Also you could keep checking his phone randomly and see if he theres any new messages.good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007): yes definitely i think he is cheating on you girl
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (24 February 2007):
 Ask yourself how much you trust him, followed by how much you love him, if the answer is not much then I suggest you leave the relationship and find someone more trustworthy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007): undoutably this man is cheating on you. as a male i can say he is using the old "deny until confronted with overwhelming evidence" routine. I suggest next time you see one of those texts in his phone, reply, pretend to be him and see what you find out. At worst your partner finds out you did it but if he loves you then he should be more concerned about your feelings then his meaningless female friendships.
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