A
female
age
30-35,
*ancerGirl09
writes:Hello everyone,My boyfriend and I have had a rough two weeks. Basically long story short, he texted me 2 weeks ago saying he needed a break. After that text and asking him why; the contact had stopped. We didn't speak to each other until we finally met up a week later. We went out to dinner, spoke briefly and had sex. The "mood" wasn't the same however. He hadn't even texted me goodnight that night or said anything about our talk. The next day he texted me and said he still wants to talk because he doesn't want to give me the wrong impression. We met up and basically he told me he did not want to be in a relationship now. He lost his job and will be collecting unemployment. He said he just wanted to get his life together which I totally understand however he is spending every damned minute with his annoying friend who smokes marijuana all day and doesn't work either(he told me he is with him all day and I know that's what his friend does)My boyfriend told me he is now selling marijuana too just to make money which I'm totally against. After our convo he texted me later on at night and said how he loved me a lot and this is not "goodbye". He said it will make us stronger and better. (we've been going out for 4.5 years). He also said he will always be here for me. My problem is that was yesterday and today he called me to see how my day was and to basically brag in my face how his day was going to the beach etc. Is he just going to keep open contact now? I don't want to make the first moves and text him because he was the one who ended it but still wants to talk to me. I'm not saying I won't answer him at all but it's just weird. I do eventually want him to come back to me but right now I feel like he is in his own annoying freedom bubble. Do you think he'll eventually snap out of it and want a normal relationship we once had back? Seems like he is to caught up on the freedom idea now that he has no job and his just chilling. Need your advice!!!!
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a break, lost his job, money, smokes, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I suggest you put this guy on "HOLD" for about 5 years....
If, after that time, he has grown up to adulthood.... THEN you can consider spending any/more time with him...
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 So: he told you he needed a break then three weeks later contacted you, went out to dinner with you, spoke briefly and had sex.
Quite frankly, I don't think much of that! He wants to not see you because you were both having relationship problems - except when the urge hits him he basically contacts you so he can get laid. He was using you. If you disagree, consider this: he TOLD you he does not want to be in a relationship right now. Okay then, take him at his word - no relationship means no sex.
It is hard that he lost his job, but he isn't being very responsible. I can understand him wanting to take a day off to go to the beach and just chill before he starts looking for another job. But selling marijuana to earn a bit of money? He could get in trouble with the law if he gets caught.
I wouldn't put too much faith in his "snapping out of it" and deciding to try the relationship again. And even if he does, UNLESS the problems you were both having can be resolved in a satisfactory manner, they'll crop up once more, and most likely lead to another break up.
I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): No I dont' think that things will go back to the way they used to be. Things have changed. He's living a different lifestyle now, apparently enjoying it, and he's also having a lot of doubts about being in a relationship with you. To me, once someone starts having SERIOUS doubts about the relationship (meaning, that they actually went so far as to break up with you), it's usually the beginning of the end. Just that people sometimes have a hard time making a clean break especially if the relationship has gone on for some time, so for them breaking up is more of a gradual process which means one day they will still act as they still want to be with you(because that's the comfort of familiarity) but the next day will be back to being distant and saying they don't want this anymore. It can be very confusing to you, so that's why my advice is to simply assume that the relationship is going to be over sooner or later, it just hasn't gotten all the way there yet. This is just so YOU can start moving on and not let him drag you on an emotional roller coaster ride.
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