A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, would anyone be able to help me out? Went on 2 dates with a guy (well, the second one was just a last-minute invite to hang out with him and a few buddies). Both times he was romantic and a gentleman but made absolutely no moves -- barely even kissed me on date 2 (he seemed nervous). When next weekend rolls around, I have no set-in-stone plans with him, but then I get a text from the bar asking if I want to come over and hang out. I go, but when I get there, he's clearly pretty drunk and still drinking a beer after I arrive. I don't know what to do, so I make out with him for a while but say up front that it's "too soon" to go upstairs/do other stuff. He gets a little distant after that night. Eventually we have a chat and I tell him, "hey you were just drunk that night, but I am still interested in sleeping with you/seeing you again... not anything super-serious but I liked you and enjoyed hanging out with you." He tells me (when I ask) tht he's "not reeeally" looking for a serious relationship. I tell him "hey if you don't want to ever hang out again, it's not a big deal, you can just let me know we aren't on the same page." He said "no no, it's just that the timing is bad right now." He has a lot of legit things going on in life, keeping his life hectic, and I get the sense that he knows he doesn't have what it takes to be a good boyfriend right now. But do you think he'd ever come around and want to be with me when the timing's better?
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female
reader, LettertoJuliet  +, writes (1 September 2011):
Honey, I most sincerely suggest you to move on and try to find other amazing guys. However if you feel that he is the only one in the world try to somehow ask what is wrong and be of any help maybe he needs a friend now and not a girlfriend if you were his friend for a while maybe afterwards he would see something more in you...
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