A
female
age
30-35,
*ofialoren
writes:So I've been seeing this guy and we've been on three dates. He initiated everything from asking me for my number, to arranging for our dates, to paying for each one of them. Yesterday he invited me for drinks with his friends. They were mostly male and mostly his housemates (Yeah we are at university) And they seemed really friendly and I think they liked me.When we went back to his, we made out a lot and he wanted me to stay the night over which I did. He was very turned on the whole time and said a few times that he really wanted to have sex. I was on my period and then he said 'Oh I wish you weren't on your period' a couple of times. We ended up making out a lot and I gave him a handjob. He seems nice (but I could be blind cause I fancy him), do you think he wants me just for sex?Oh and there was a text on his phone from an NHS (National Health Service here in the UK) STD clinic, he had had tests done last week. I thought that was weird actually. The results were- All clear. I asked him about it and he said his housemate was a bit promiscuous last term and he went along and did them with his friend for moral support.He is very classy and we've done the whole movie date, dinner date and I would say he seems nice but his comments that night about having sex and the STD test the week before makes me believe he's a player :/
View related questions:
hand-job, period, player, std, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (27 October 2012):
 You will know he is only a player if you make him wait for sex... If he won't wait then you know. Tell him you aren't ready and you don't rush into sex early on, it takes you some time. Don't give him handjobs anymore either. If every time he hangs out he mentions wanting you to stay the night and have sex then it's a pretty safe bet that is all he is looking for. If he continues dating you and doesn't pressure you for sex for at least a good few weeks then he probably isn't only looking for sex from you. But you should remember this for any future boyfriend. Don't rush into sex because that's how you get used. The only way to know if a guy is really into you for more than just sex is to wait.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 October 2012):
 EVERY GUY in your age range wants girls "just for sex."
It's only a lucky roll of the dice that will put you in the presence of a decent guy who WON'T want you "just for sex,"..... and you will detect that right away... because he will not suggest that you "spend the night" on one of your's and his first few dates....
Good luck.....
...............................
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (27 October 2012):
 I believe that it's a very antiquated thought process that you are dealing with here. Not just "players" and "sluts" get tested for STDs. -ANYONE- who is sexually active needs to get them regularly, regardless of how many or how few partners they have. The fact that he HAS been tested recently doesn't mean he's a player, it means he's smart, responsible, and concerned for his health.
If you want to find out if he's interested in you for a relationship, or just for sex, your best bet would to be honest and -ask him-. We can't know for sure, as we don't know him. You know him better than we do. So, talk to him.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2012):
To be fair to the man, whatever he may be, he was at least sensible enough to get an STD test done. In this world, it's a wise person who has that done before meeting a new partner. So at least he had the nerve to do that. I suspect that the 'friend' thing might have been a cover, but at the very least he had one done, so you know that he was caring enough to do that.
As for the 'does he want me for sex' thing, there's not actually enough there to suggest that he just wants that. He has actually done a fair amount of chasing - he set up the dates, you've met his friends (usually a sign that perhaps he wants it go further), and whilst his comments were a little tactless at that time, it's hardly surprising that he's thinking of sex!
You can afford to give this guy more time, I think. He does seem like a decent chap, and there's nothing that suggests he just wants the sex.
...............................
|
