A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I fancied this guy for some months (we lived in different countries). and he stayed at my place for one month and went back to his country recently. During the month he stayed at my place, we spent a lot of time together. We had sex, too. Occasionally, he came home drunk and said things like "I really like you", "I really wanted to see you tonight" etc. etc. and a lot of nice things about my appearnce, too, but when he was sober, we were just like freinds.When he went out for a drink for the last time before going back to his country, he came home very drunk and said "i dont want to leave" "I want to stay here, this is like my home"...When he was sober, he said these things too... Once i asked if he rememebred what he said previous night when he was drunk, he said "No. but even if i dont rememeber, that does not mean i didnt mean what i said" "Of course I like you". Before he left, we didnt make a promise or anything.. I think (I want to believe) what he told me when he was drunk was his true feelings. He is a perfectionist and he did not like the situation he was in at all (no job, no money) and maybe he could not show his feelings?. Now he's gone, i miss him and i feel lonely. What shoud I do? Do you think he told me his true feelings when he was drunk? but even so, when he said he didn't rememeber anything he had told me, what can i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Nicola79 and Farris for your advice.When he came online yesterday, I told him "I miss you" and he said "yeah, It was nice but not real life, I need to work"... then, he told me he had connected his mobile phone with the same number as before and told me the number, so i called him and talked for 30 minutes... I'm not sure if he has feelings for me considering his response...and I have no courage to ask him what he thinks about me now...He obviously likes me and that's what I feel and what my friends say but not in the way i like him...
A
female
reader, Farris  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Ask him!
You have nothing to lose. You don't have him there now and you're lonely. If you don't ask him how he feels then you won't ever have him. If you ask him, and he does have feelings then you get so much and it's worth the risk!
Obviously, be gentle with him because he sounds like he's not great at expressing himself, but just go for it.
AND GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (26 February 2007):
 It sounds like he is shy,a lot of people will only desplay there true feelings when they have had a drink.
Its not ideal I know,and its tricky to know if they meant it or not,send him a letter asking if he does have feelings for you or if he just wants a casual relationship.
Tell him not to be shy in talking to you, but you need to know the truth,its not fair to be hanging on like this.
Tell him if it helps he can reply by a letter and if he doesnt want a relatioship then you will leave him alone.
I hope everything works out for you, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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