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Do you think he really cares for me & is just wanting me for himself - or are these the signs of an abusive relationship?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend makes me feel special and is very protective over me. However, sometimes when I challenge him over his past he gets very bad tempered and verbally abusive to me and won't speak.

We made up after the last time as it was just a misunderstanding over an ex who was stirring up trouble - but recently - he has told me he doesn't like me keeping in touch with my male friends online and to get rid of them as it makes him jealous - so I have decided to cut contact with these friends for piece of mind.

Do you think he really cares for me and is just wanting me for himself - or are these the signs of an abusive relationship? We have only been dating a few months.

View related questions: jealous

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (2 September 2015):

MSA agony auntTo be honest, I think you both are acting a bit immaturely.

Your boyfriend is insecure and acts immaturely with his temper and verbal abuse.

You should never 'challenge him over his past'.. the past is the past. Everything begins when you and him begin your relationship together. I know it's not an easy thing to do, especially when you seem to know so much about his past. But try to remember that the past is the past, best leave it there.

The rule of thumb for my relationship with my boyfriend is that we will not ask each other to remove/cut contact with any friendships that were made before us getting together. Now, if there is a certain friend that is causing trouble between us, then it will be up to him or I (depending whose friend it is) to handle it and make sure that said friend doesn't come in between us. We make new male/female friends... but do not ask for the opposite sex's phone number or contact info unless it is discussed and we both agree to it.

Personally, I would not cut contact with my male friends just because my boyfriend feels 'jealous'.. I would work on trust with my boyfriend and let him know that having male friends does not mean I don't love him.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (2 September 2015):

What do you mean by "challenge him over his past"? What is that supposed to mean? Sounds like you both need to grow up to me.

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