A
female
age
36-40,
*oelouise2121
writes:Me and this guy who is 10 years older than me, I'm 26 and he's just turned 36. We are really good friends, and are quite close. Well a couple of months ago, I told him I have feelings for him. He said, it's one sided and that he cant give me what I want. Then when we were at the pub two weeks ago, he told me it's not that he doesn't want a relationship, its just he's scared of getting hurt, and every time he tries it brings on his anxiety so he dare'nt. The other day we was talking about the future. I just want to know if anyone reckons he will change his mind, I don't want to force him and put too much pressure on him, but in the future. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 You have to give him time. He doesn't realize that he's not the only man feeling scared about committing. It's a huge commitment to devote to a woman for the rest of his life. Somehow a man thinks that there is only one man who is fit for you and that one man is someone who is willing to commit the exact same time you want it. That's not going to happen because people travel at different speeds. He might think he's not the one for you because he doesn't have the same intensity. He fears he has to play catch up with you. What is a definition of a relationship? If he thinks that a relationship puts him in the position of making you happy and he fails it then he gets hurt. So what you do is make commitment fun, tell him what makes you happy and that it's easy for you to be happy. If he sees you being cheerful with or without his commitment then he would change his mind about relationship being a bad thing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): No he won't change his mind and don't be too shocked if he finds a girlfriend even though he said what he said to you. Guys say that when they want to let you down easy because it's less harsh than telling you they don't see you in that light.
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