A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for quite some time now at least 6 months i knew him as a friend from school before we went out with eachover,when school ended we built our realonship together things went really well in the past months,until when i went to college he started to change we started to have a sexual realonship being that we both loved eacthover.After a few months had gone by i started to see change in him.I saw that he was with another girl,he says he isn't in a realonship with the girl.He now dosen't bother to talk and see me as much as we use to do..And he says he is to busy to talk and see me.He wasn't like this before he met that girl.He only sees me when i bother to phone him to make an arrangment or on msn.I phone to talk to him as he never bothers anymore.He never takes me out like he used to.When i see him he only wants sex. i said to him if he is using me for just sex and he said he was showing his love to me.But if he loved me he would talk to me and see me more often and go out to places either than sex.I have even started firting with other guys for attention i know this is wrong but i don't feel loved by him.If i ended the realonship i know that my first love would of gone and i would be alone. I am so confused, do you think he actually loves me anymore?
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male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (22 November 2007):
 By the sounds of things, he never loved you in the first place, he was just using you for sex. You're both young as as much as you think you're in love, I can guarentee you're not. I suggest ending it, and enjoy being single.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): I say step back and ignore him for a while and see what he does. Wait for him to call you. If he doesn't, well, then he's just lost interest in you. If he does contact you, it'll probably be for sex. Deny him that. Don't have sex with him anymore if that's all he goes to you for.This guy sounds like a jerk. Losing him wouldn't be a big loss. Don't worry about being alone. I'm sure you have friends.
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A
female
reader, sweet and sassy +, writes (22 November 2007):
i think u need to get out there and have some fun! it sounds as if he is using u. dont fall for his bullshit thats hes showing u love by having sex! iv heard that before. im 21 an hes a sleezy little boy! seriously girl just turn round an tell him to get lost. do u want to look bk in 10years time at ur first love an know it was the biggest mistake of ur life!? theres no ashame in letting ur first love go, u ask anybody over the age of 18-21 an i bet 99% of them have loved and lost! uv just got to be brave enough to let go an start being happy! hope iv helpt. good luck xx s&s xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): I'm sorry you're confused and hurt. But actions speak louder than words and his actions are definitely throwing up red flags. Does the way he is treating you make you feel loved? No. Do you deserve that at all? NO! I know how hard it is to get over that first love, I've been there. Us girls want the whole "we were high school sweethearts and fell in love and got married and had kids and lived happily ever after" thing but sadly thats not the norm. Dating is meant for us to find out who we are BEST with, who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be better for them. The BEST usually isn't the first. That goes with a "first" anything. Think about the first time you tried anything, like a hobby or a sport. You sucked and it upset you but you didn't give up. You stuck with it until you got it right. Dating is the same, to me atleast. You have to date around, see who suits you and who makes you happiest. Please try to think of it as a learning experience rather than the end of your life. I know how hard that is to do though. It's EXCRUCIATINGLY painful to love someone and not have that love returned. I thought I would never ever get over my first love, I was even suicidal cutting on my wrists. I thought my life was over. Do you have friends who can support you through a break up? I'm sorry to say that it doesn't sound like he loves you anymore. There is a chance, perhaps, that he truly is busy. You HAVE to sit him down and face to face talk to him and tel him how you're feeling unloved and that you think all he wants is sex. Tell him you want to go out more and get a phone call FROM HIM every once in awhile. If he can't make those changes for you, then you should end it. If you want any advice on how to let go, let me know and i would love to help. Be strong and realize it's HIS LOSS!!! my thoughts are with you my dear xoxo
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