A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupids.ive been with my amazin boyfriend now for over a year and i love him with all my heart, we havnt yet had sex but have recently started to talk about it, like he was rubbin down there a couple of nights ago and i really enjoyed it, we have been quite slow, takin things slowly through the whole relationship. like we didnt kiss until we'd been together for 3 week! well on thursday i gave him his first blow job, he said it was great and everything! and then i gave him another one on friday. he was rubbin me and then he fingered me, we layed in bed for a while.. totally naked for the first time, hugging he kissed me on the forehead and told me he loved me, he didnt even try to do anything to me, like bring on sex or anything. we've always stuck to kissin and cuddlin, movies and stuff. not really bothered about sexual stuff. but it was a great night and i loved it! but i seriously thought he may have taken it further, i think i kind of wanted him to. i do feel ready for sex i think and i completely adore him! but i just dont know why hes always been so nice with me, is he just a romantic kind of guy who doesnt want to have sex with me and make me regret it? the thing is i was raped when i was 14, i dont like to talk about it, although i have had sex before, because i was raped! i still see myself as a virgin, it went around school about 18 months ago, when it was quite new and upsetting! and i was wondering if he found out (hes 3 years older than me (19) and didnt go to my school though) do you think maybe he could of found out i was raped and tried to take things easy with me? or do you think he might want me to make the first move? im scared and i dunno why
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female
reader, Sakura Kinomoto  +, writes (23 October 2008):
i think you should just be strong and ask him
and if he didn't know and he really does love you then he will take care of you more and you know if he is sensible and caring then he should be kind to i mean come on you already given him a blow-job and all that i know another girl who has been raped when she was 13 and i was her friend and ofcourse she had a boyfriend but when his boyfriend found out he was really understanding and took care of her really well i think they are getting married soon
P.S.
If he breaks up with you ,you have every rights to blame it on me
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): its hard to tell whether he knows about you getting raped or not, but either way he does really seem to care about you, like it says in one of the other answers, he wouldnt have stuck around for so long if he was only after sex, you're a lucky girl, not many guys are like this these days.
its up to you if you want to talk to him about being raped, if you dont, but you feel you're ready to have sex with him, let him know, you can either tell him or maybe repeat what you did that night, just lie next to each other, kiss, etc and try to take things a step further..if that doesnt work, well just tell him.
hope this helps a little
good luck and if you want to ask me anything just send me a message x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Sex should be enjoyable and not a time to fret. What happened in the past will always be in the back of your mind and it probably won't go away and remember you probably aren't alone on this. Do not feel forced into telling him what happened. This is your business and if he really likes you, he won't ask! You are still very young. You should have sex when you feel ready but I think that he would not have hung around for a year if he was only after one thing. Also remember all the STD's you can catch now, so take precautions i.e ask him to wear a condom. If he won't then refuse sex - say 'no'. It sounds like you are not quite ready as you may not trust him 100%. If he is pressurising you then tell him. It is your body remember - not his!
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): it could be either way for this. but if u wanna go ahead and have sex with him, u should make ur move. and if he knows that u were raped, or if he doesnt. he might just be waiting until u r ready for it.
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