A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After almost 2 years and no advancement I guess moving on is best, but what's confusing is when I cut him off he makes effort with the "I miss you and I love you" and he tells me he does want marriage and to be happy with me but he never stress me about sex.Do you think he just wants to have me in his life in some type of way??and why keep coming back when I've given him many exits? It's not for sex because we haven't been intimate in a few months??
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2016): You can miss an old pair of worn-out sneakers or a tattered old blanket. Only because they're broken-in, and you're used to having them around.
He misses things about you, of course. However; he doesn't miss you enough to put a ring on it. You're a trusted and reliable friend; and he tells you what you want to hear.
If you cook, keep house, and give him a cozy home, a stray cat will return crying at the backdoor again and again.
Send him on his way and move on. Stop allowing him to play on your emotions and manipulate you with the L-word. Men know women are very vulnerable to the word "love."
He keeps coming back because he needs someone to take care of him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 September 2016):
 He can tell you he loves you and misses you, but they are only words, does he actually show you this when you are together? My guess is not. It sounds like when you pull away from him he tries to get you back, it is almost like a game to him. It does not sound like he is taking you serious, my guess is that he is keeping you on the back burner as an option. Cut all contact with him, you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2016):
 I think you are his back-up. When you pull away he tries to suck you back in. I don't think it's because he loves you, but yes he wants you around in case he doesn't find "better"...
Why waste time on this guy? The relationship isn't going anywhere and he isn't exactly a good friend either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2016): he knows because of how you feel about him, he will say what you want to hear so you wont leave him. hes stringing you along, putting as little effort as possible, wooing you in w/words he knows that will win your heart.words are words, they are pretty useless. action is everything. if a man wants you, hes there, winning your love, setting up dates, talking, by your side, asking about your schedule, NOT just texting or calling but actively seeing you in person. much like an app, if I were you, Id swipe right and keep moving on. no pain, no gain. two years? dont waste anymore of your time sweetie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2016): He wants you the way he wants you (sex or no sex). Some people, mostly those afraid of being alone, feed on other people's energy and affection and want them around even though they do not want anything serious for whatever reason. When you threaten to leave, he promisses enough for you to hang around (under his conditions), but he never actually delivers, what does this tell you? It's a game you both play.He'll never let you go. You have to break free and build something real for yourself, before it's too late.I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he is manipulative. His manipulations would be to no avail if it were not for your cooperation. For some reason you think you do not deserve someone who's going to be there for you, share life with you... you think you deserve him. Why is that? That's the most sessential question. Why is this enough for you? Why do you think he should be the one to leave? He's happy with the way things are even though you do not percieve it that way. You think his lack of committment reflects his dissatisfaction with you. His lack of committments is just the way he is. And you accepting to stay around under his conditions makes him very happy. The only thing he has to do is to make a few empty promisses from time to time. I guess he'd be surprized to learn that you do take him seriously. Or are you pretending to take him seriously so that you can give yourself permition to stay despite the obvious?Insted of questioning his motives, question yourself. What are you afraid of? What do you want from life? What do you have to give?
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