A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well...I have a question and I'm hoping someone can help me by answering it or giving me suggestions. To start things off my boyfriend (to whom I have been with for almost 6 months) He has been living with me for the past 2 months, he is in school still, he does not have a job, nor a car soo I have to give him rides everywhere he needs to go, He also has HUGE I mean HUGE problems with his mother that seem to tramatize him amoung other problems that he seems to harbour...When we first got together he wanted to go to the Air force but now he does not want to go~ moreless do anything else he really has no plans and the only thing he really seems to know is that he "loves me and he doesn't want to be separated from me." I love him aswell don't get me wrong but I'm 19, and he's 18 and I just kinda get the feeling I'm taking care of him which I don't like in the least bit...I'm not his mother and I don't want to be seen as a motherly figure I am his girlfriend...So my question is...Do you think he is using me to take care of him since no one else will? and do you think I need to break up with him and find someone else a little more stable and who makes me feel secure Or should I stay and try to work things out with him support him and see what happens??? Please Help I'm so confused at this point...any suggestions or answers appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Hello. I think you might find he is using you. If his only ambition in life is to be with you, thats a stock answer given by losers when theyve fallen on their feet and need looking after. Trust me! Ive been there and was told the exact same thing.
Your bf is supposed to be a man. If you dont want to be his new mom, then you have to make him grow up. And he wont do that tied to yours or his mothers apron strings. Give him notice to quit because you need your own space and see if he gets a job and saves for his own place.
If he wants to stay in your life he will do this. If he resents for you for throwing him out of his cosy nest, he will be cross and not want to be with you anymore. So you will either get rid of a loser or help him grow a set and end up with a sensible bf x
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (17 March 2010):
Yes he is using you? Pack his bags and tell him to 'sling his hook elsewhere'? Let this be a learning curve a mistake you will not make again.
What is it with women that they let themselves be used??
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 You will have to look deeply into your heart to see how much is your love for him ?
Can you see a future with him ?
Is he worth investing your time and money ?
If the score is below 50%,then you will need to walk away from him.
In the meantime, he has to pull his weight in this relationship . You can't go on supporting him . He should find a job or make peace with his mother.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Girl, this guy is a sponge. He'll suck every bit of life and wellbeing from you as long as you let him. Leave him and let him go back to his mother and work out his issues with her. Go now, as quick as you can.
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