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Do you think he is messing with me, or do you think he really wants something more?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *ovely19 writes:

Last fall I met this married cop, who is 27. I am still in high school, and only 17, but it feels like he does not really care that im underage. When I am around him, he is very flirty towards me, it almost feels like he does not really care that he is married either. Since I met him, I have developed very strong feelings for him, and have some what told him how I feel.

I started putting little innocent gifts on his cop car to remind him of me, things I didnt think would mean much. One day I left something on his car and texted him, he responded to please take it off it pissed his wife off. I took it off, and saw him maybe a week later. He asked what I put on his car, and I showed him the picture, he even asked to keep it!

Later that day he rode a carnival ride with me, in the same cart, and he shared a drink with me. He came to me school yesterday, and I sat with him during both lunches. During that time he expressed how his wife was very threatened by me and was very jealous of me when I was with her husband. My question is, if he really cared about his marriage, would he really still be flirting with me and talking to me knowing how his wife feels. It would be very easy to avoid me, and yet he still takes me calls and flirts when he sees me. I understand the whole he is married and off limits thing, but when he knows how I feel about him and still does what he does, it makes me wonder.

Do you think he is messing with me, or do you think he really wants something more? And do you think he really really cares about his marriage?

View related questions: flirt, jealous, text

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A female reader, kle7 United States +, writes (25 September 2008):

Girl you are getting played! He doesn't care about you! and you should be ashamed that you're messing with a married man! It doesn't matter if he doesn't care about his marraige, you should have enough respect for yourself and the other woman involved to just stay away. What goes around comes around.

How would you feel if some little 17 year old girl was trying to mess with your husband and ruin your family?

It's not just sad... It's nasty!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

You are living in your own fantasy world. No where in your post did you mention HOW he was being flirty and that he is telling you that his marriage doesn't matter to him.

In fact he has told you to take the thing off the car it pissed his wife off. He is telling you NICELY that his wife is jealous of your attention and all of this indicates that he doesn't like it either. He is hoping that you have a brain cell in your head and will understand that he is kindly telling you to BACK OFF, but being a public servant, a cop, he is also trying to not totally hurt your feelings by completely rejecting you, but he is not interested in anything more than being your friend. You are under legal age of consent, and he is married, he could lose his job if he got involved with you and he could be prosecuted if things went to far with you.

Please get some moral backbone, some common sense, your strong feelings are the result of the excitement of having an older man in a cop uniform pay attention to you, the forbidden fruit of a married man, and the safety of knowing that this can never go anywhere so you cannot fail or get too attached, it is a sexual attraction that has gone to your head and erased all logic from you, it is knowing you can't have him, and people want what they cannot have. You also have no respect for marriage or for his wife or for other women in general. It is not cool at all to try and break up a marriage or take another woman's man.

I feel sorry for you.

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