A
female
age
36-40,
*yperbunny
writes:After a year I finally had to walk away from my boyfriend who I was in love with. He was addicted to weed, verbally abusive and had severe mood swings and manipulated me. He is very spiteful and hurt me so much through the relationship, but I did love him.He has a fanpage on facebook which is open so obviously even after I walked away from it, I still looked on his page everyday. After 2 weeks of me being strong and not contacting him he started writing sexual connotations about women on his fb - knowing that I could see. That isn't like him and him refering to women int hat way hurt me really deeply.Do you think he had me in mind at all when he started writing such things on his page it really hurt me and I don't know why he would want to do that to me?deeply hurt.
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female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Look for other things you can do with your time and stop browsing for like a week! Visit friends, wash, clean, play games anything to keep you occupied. Your ex is crap. Make him a permanent part of your past and move on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): It's possible. Or it may be just about him and his mood. But don't waste your energy wondering what a "spiteful", "abusive" person who "manipulated" you is doing and thinking. Make a commitment to yourself to stop looking at his page. It's hard, but as they say, short-term pain is better than long-term pain. Just stop looking. Don't let the torment drag on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 even if he is goading you into contact you must remain strong.
you left for a reason... keep reminding yourself of the reasons...
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (27 April 2011):
If he is spiteful and hurtful then it is likely he could be posting things on facebook knowing full well that you are reading it.
You know what, if you get over this guy, stop reading stupid facebook. You are going to look back on the whole thing and be very glad you did move on with your life.
Cut all contact, and do everything you can to move on. Be ready if he tries to contact you, by ignoring him entirely; he'll get the message. Block him on facebook, so you can't see what he's writing.
As soon as you've moved on, you'll feel so much better about it all and it won't hurt any longer. You deserve much better, remember that!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 April 2011):
You strike me as one of those women who lacks so much confidence, that you actively seek out mental torture from men because you hope one day they'll change and be nice to you.
Whether he was referring to you or not is simply not the issue here. The issue is that for a year, you allowed yourself to be abused in the name of 'love', and even after dumping the e finally, you are clearly still looking at his facebook page.
The truth is, he probably wasn't referring to you at all. You say it's not like him to write things like that. I say he abused you for a year, so it's definitely like him. He's just a crap guy who is out to hurt and control anyone he can. And when no one is there, he writes stuff for attention.
This is precisely why you need to block contact and stop looking at his sites. The issue in your life is no longer this guy. The issue is now whether you move on. If you continue to look at his site, you'll see more and more that you won't like, and it'll just hurt you. You'll effectively become your own problem.
Cut contact, stop looking at his pages and really work on your self confidence, because no woman with confidence would have put up with the treatment you did, and then subject herself to more pain by becoming obsessed with a facebook page and comments.
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