A
female
age
26-29,
*ighheeledfeminist
writes:Hi all, thanks in advance for reading. I’m sorry this is really long I just want you to get a real sense of what’s going on here!OK here’s the deal. There is this guy who recently moved to my area. He is about 2.5 years older than me, which isn’t a HUGE difference but the thing is I am a senior in high school and he’s in college so his life is just so different from mine, like he is here because he’s doing this apprenticeship thing but is going to school in a different state! So next year I’ll go off to college somewhere and he’ll go back to his school, and that would make things hard, not to mention the fact that I’m not sure a college guy could ever really see me that way!! People say I look and act extremely mature for my age but still…could he really like me too?! Anyhow, in a moment I will explain the whole situation/dynamic with him, and essentially what I’m asking is, do you think he could even be interested in me, and if he were to be, would it be possible for us to be together?So I first saw him a few months ago. Immediately I was like “whoa, he is…extremely attractive!” We are both musicians and he started showing up to rehearsals in two different community groups I play with. In one of the groups, we’re very conveniently seated so that I can look at him pretty easily without being too obvious. I was really shy for awhile and would just sneak quick peeks but then once I looked up and he was looking right back at me!! Up until that point we had not acknowledged each other’s existence in the slightest. After that, though, little things started. We would nod and smile by way of greeting when we arrived, and then we started occasionally making eye contact during rehearsal, like when something funny happens we’ll look across at each other and share this fleeting little smile. Just last week or maybe the week before was I think the first time we ever actually SPOKE—and it was just a “see ya” at the end of rehearsal. BUT! At this week’s rehearsal, my stand partner and I started laughing hysterically about something during our break and he came over and was all like “what’s going on over here?!” we couldn’t really explain it because we were laughing too hard XD but again he looked me right in the eyes and smiled in that beautiful way of his…At the end of rehearsal I tried to pack up slowly but he was slower, so when I left I walked slowly, hoping he would catch up but eventually I gave up. When I got downstairs though he was coming quickly down the OTHER set of stairs and so all of sudden we were on opposite ends of this hallway looking at each other and he’s like “How did you get all the way over there?!” in a way that seemed to me almost as if he had maybe been trying to catch up to me?? And he waited a moment so he could hold the door open for me, and we walked out together and he was like “so WHAT exactly was so funny over there in the corner?!” and so yeah we talked for only about 30 seconds because my car was right there but still it just left me reeling. He gives me this amazing feeling of being IMPORTANT, like when he talks to me there is nothing else on his mind, nothing else in the world, he’s just one of those people that can make you feel so special just by listening to you. Then last night I saw him again at another rehearsal. He sits right behind me with this group so we kind of talk in that…well, if you’re a musician maybe you know the kind of conversation that happens in my rehearsals. It mostly consists of snarky/witty comments and music-nerd jokes but there’s not a lot of real CONVERSATION because, well, you’re rehearsing! So it was fun to occasionally exchange banter w/ him and hear him talking to other people—confirming that he is as funny and sweet as I thought times 100…but perhaps more importantly, when I would turn around to talk to this other friend of mine behind me, I could feel him watching me and a lot of times when I start to turn around he immediately scoots/leans forward which I found encouraging. During the 20 minutes of the break in the middle of rehearsal he seemed like he was trying to make his way over to talk to me, like he got closer and closer over the course of the break but he never quite made it. At the end of rehearsal we had this incredibly awkward exchange in which I misheard him and we both just got confused and I was probably red as a beet, but the main thing was that as we were saying goodbye he was LOOKING at me again the way he does like I can’t even describe it he’s just got these beautiful eyes and this sweet kinda goofy grin and it makes everything in my head just go POOF so that I can hardly think or breathe. And I want every part of him. I want to talk to him, really talk to him, I want to go to concerts with him, I want to drive for hours with him going no place in particular, I want to cook with him, I want to go ice skating with him, go walk with him in a park or on a beach, just fun things that couples do together, things that seem infinitely more exciting when I imagine being with him…and I also can’t stop thinking about his perfect lips and his gorgeous hands and his strong arms and how I want him to kiss me and hold me and never ever let go. I’m going crazy over here! Can this even be real?!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 You relax, you be yourself and you don't try to make it more than it can possibly be with you going off to school next year.
A
female
reader, highheeledfeminist +, writes (21 December 2012):
highheeledfeminist is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey guys, thanks for the answers. :) just wanted to update--the other day, out of the blue, he emailed me...which means he also went out of his way to get my email off the band directory. He wants to get together--I'm stunned! I am going to see him I think, but I have no idea what to do haha! I think he's coming over to play duets with me cuz we're cool like that but...ack! How do I do this?!?!?!?! :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 December 2012):
You have a mad crush. aren't they fun?
Listen to me. You really DON'T want to get involved at this point with him. Because in a year you will be away at college and you will meet all kinds of new folks and not be around him so much and he will be away at his school meeting all kinds of new folks and you would have to have an LDR with him for 4 years and that's LOUSY at your age.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 It certainly sounds like hes into you from what you're describing, and i can tell you're absolutely smitten and made me grin cheesily reading your post, taking me back to the start of my relationship :-D. But i think you need to consider some factors.If he likes you back and you decide to make a go of it but have to go to Colleges in different areas of the country are you willing to continue a LDR, even if it means not exactly being able to do all the things you said you wanted. LDR's can be hard especially if the relationship is fresh and you haven't had the time to talk, get to know eachother and really discover that emotional bond between you both, the attachment can sometimes just fade.LDR's are also a commitment for both sides and depending on how recently you've met this guy, I don't know how easy it is to tie someone to a commitment like this so early on.On a brighter note if you do have a strong attraction and connection to eachother and both really want to make a go of it regardless of the distance, then i say go for it, girl. If a relationship isn't an option, theres no saying you can't at least exchange numbers and say in contact.Best of luckxxx
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