A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy 3 months ago just after I moved to a new country. Settling in the new country has been like a rollercoaster ride for me and I 'clinged' to this guy as he was the one of the first few people I got to know when I first arrived. He seemed trustworthy, attractive and interesting to know so I was more than happy to start seeing him and not experience the loneliness of being away from family and friends.Getting used to the new culture, new life, and new place was not easy and we started meeting every single day. He's a busy guy with lots of hobbies but I seem to have no energy left after work so I spend all my free time with him. Needless to say, he told me that I should get a hobby (he said that he's become MY hobby and that it's not good for me) but he also does understand the fact that it takes time for somebody to settle in a place.In the last 3 months our relationship started developing. As we became intimate we agreed to be exclusive. I later found out that he's been 'sexting' some other women. He was upset when I confronted him as he didn't expect me to check his phone...but he apologised for his behaviour and asked for another chance. We agreed to give it another try but I can't seem to put this behind me. Sometimes he acts grumpy and he's always fiddling with his phone. I know that he uses his phone to check his work emails (he's very busy man at wrk) but I keep being suspicious. I talked to him about where we stand and he told me that he cares for me and that he's been faithful but that he doesn't feel 'committed' to me. He asked me for time to think about what he really wants and I told him that if he's not willing to be serious then I'll leave. I agreed to give him some time to think about it but in the meantime we're still meeting up regularly. Is it fair for me to just keep seeing someone even when he's not sure about me? cos that's what I seem to be doing!I travel all the time (for my job) and he doesn't really make an effort to stay in touch with me while I'm away. I have to be the one who texts first, and sometimes he takes a day or more to reply. When I'm in the country, however, he calls/texts everyday.Some more info: We're both late twenties, he introduced me to his friends and wanted me to meet his family (but hasn't happened yet as they live abroad)
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male
reader, bma.com  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 I can relate to this one real quick,And probaly answer it quick. Number one i never heard the word "LOVE" mentioned? Are ya'll in love or convience you need him because your new,and everybody likes the 'new girl" .Kinda like being first in a kinda way.I understand about hobbies your hobbie is him.He means sewing reading books etc. You are smothering him and he is running, don't really understand the term sexting but it's probaly not good if it pissed u off. That's called emotionaly cheating by the way. He got caught he's moving on wether you know it or not. You are now a number to him or he would be more devoted you, Kinda like kissing your butt. But after he was caught, he was probaly good to youi for a while, now he's had some time to think about some things and you are not the only one. I say run not walk before you get your heart crushed any more.Good Luck.
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