A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi aunts and uncles. I would really appreciate some advice. I met my first love 4 years ago we started off as friends and at 16 we became a couple. It was intense and we saw each other every single day (not even an exaggeration) I was his first but he wasn't mine, although that bothered me very much as it would have been perfect if I gave my virginity to him. We were together for 2 and a half years and towards the end he became physically abusive and there would be an incident at least once a week where he would smack me for something or other. This went on for around 6 months when I left him. I have been with two partners since then one for 10 months on and off and another for 7. But the whole time I have never been able to get over my first love. He is the first person I think of in the morning and the last person at night. If I hear a love song or watch a romantic film it is only ever him that is on my mind. I know people do romantasize (sorry for the spelling) their pasts but I don't. I remember almost every fight and bad point about him. Sometimes I feel like I will never get over him none of my relationships work and I have given up because I just can't stop thinking about him. Will this last for ever?I know he would take me back in an instant but I don't want to go back to the way it was. We have tried a couple of times since we broke up and it always ends as he doesn't invest enough time in us although he hasn't raised his hand to me in 12 months. My question is I suppose will this ever end? Will I get over him. I'm twenty years old now and I'm worried I won't find love again :( please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (1 May 2011):
 I guess it's different for everybody, but from my point of view - Yes, you do get over your first love. However, they say first love's are people who you never forget and I believe this is true. I was in a 2 year long distance relationship. She was my world. I adored her and we spoke to each other every day. I was absolutely distraught when we broke up and it took me (and this may sound really pathetic) probably a good three and a half years to get over her completely.Time is a great healer and sometimes, in my case certainly, it takes a long time. With that in mind, I think the best thing to do is accept that. This is something that takes a long time to get over, so don't put pressure on yourself. Take each day as it comes and eventually the time will come when you will be able to look back on the good times you two shared and feel happy. Like I say, that may be a while off yet, but you'll get there.I know it's not easy, but you will get there, trust me.
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