A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife's girlfriend is in her thirties, and recently divorced.She's found a boyfriend online who has no car and lives with his sister. Yeah, he's poor. Lousy job, no education, no future. So she drives to his sister's house, picks him up, and has him over for the weekend in her apartment. Yeah, two nights.BTW, she has only known him for a week or two.This is a professional woman, who is very attractive. My wife and I can't figure out why she's slumming. Though she has a history of it.Anyhow, she tells my wife the BF sleeps in her bed, but they have not had sex - yet.This woman is a good friend; she knows we have an Air Mattress we would loan her for any reason if she asked. So it's not like the poor chap would be forced to sleep on the floor.Is her claim her new BF sleeps in her bed but they have no sex even remotely believeable ?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 Give her the benefits of doubts. It is possible looking at the scenario.
He is poor,lousy job, no education and no future but what you may overlook is his character and his communication skills with the opposite sex.
You don't need great education to be a Casanova. Some people are born with those qualities.
Professional woman may sound outlandish but when it comes to love , they are just like fish out of the water. They can get conned of their love and money by sleek tricksters .
I believed what she said because it is still early in the relationship where the man try's hard not to take advantage of the situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): Of course many successful people are scum. This is not news.But most people who are successful were not born rich, and and are not where they are because they "know someone".They worked very hard to get an education, and a good job, and will likewise work hard to please their spouse, and raise their children with love.There are good poor people, no doubt. But there are also many who are poor because of their own severe failings. I've volunteered at charities that help the poor and have seen both kinds. I feel for them, but wouldn't want to be them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): I appreciate the thoughtful answers many have given.
Before I met my wife there were occasions I slept with women without having sex myself, but that was always when a group of us were camping together in close quarters and it would have been real low class to even try.
Of course many women rejected my advances in the early stages of dating, but once we were all alone in the same bed there were always fireworks !
So I'm not buying her story from experience, but if some of you people believe her I'm feeling better.
Both my wife and I want her to be happy, and I want her to be with a guy who I can talk to about mutual interests at Cookouts, Restaurants, etc.
From what I know of her present companion, that is not happening should she stick with him. My loss.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): There's a lot of "none of your business" type answers here, and that would be understandable if I had any interest in the gory details of what positions they are using, what she does what to him, etc.But here's the real deal: friendships do not involve telling each other they are wonderful all day long. Real Friends tell Friends when they are messing up.Neither I nor my wife asked her if she was having sex at all - she volunteered the little she told us, and we are not pushing it.But I don't need to tell anyone that having unprotected sex can lead to major problems that will change your life forever. This applies to both men and women.An unexpected pregancy in many cases can doom a woman to a life of poverty; especially when then is no chance the father can ever pay child support.I say it applies to men too, because many men are paying crippling Child Support payments because they had irresponsible sex with a woman.But this chap isn't going to have to worry about that; not with his income.Loving a man with who can share the finances and have a real life is no more difficult than loving a poor man with no prospects.
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A
female
reader, naughty girl  +, writes (3 April 2010):
There are lots of sucessful people out there who are scum of the earth. Your a little to old to not have learned this yet.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Since she is 30years old and well over the age of consent, and neither your wife or yourself are her parents, I do not think it's any of your business where her and this guy happen to sleep.
Yes you can care for her, yes you can worry and advise her, but if she wants to "hump" a "no-future low-life", then there is nothing you or your wife can do or say to stop her.
Personally, by the way you talk about people who live different lives to you, I think she is being polite by not telling you to mind your own business.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): I'm concerned for this woman.
My wife thinks the world of her, and that's enough for me.
If we thought she was humping someone successful, we'd be thrilled for her.
We think she's somewhat ashamed she's attracted to this no-future low-life, and that's why she's telling this tale.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 April 2010):
A week or two relationship... yep, perfect natural to sleep in a bed with no sex..
You ever heard of "bundling", ancient tradition, you lie in a bed with all your clothes on and no touching allowed. Allows you to get to know a person, whilst your in an intimate situation, good way for getting secrets out of a man before you make the decision to jump in...
By the way, why are you even interested in what this woman is doing?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 April 2010):
Who really knows. It could be that your wife's friend regretted having done something, or was worried about how you would react. All you need to do is be there for her in case it goes wrong. You can't stop whatever is happening.
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