A
male
age
51-59,
*r.Worry
writes:Does anyone think that some women can actually like needy guys who never got love from their mothers?I guess I'm asking are there women who like to take care of men? And if so,why? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): I'm with a guy who asks for attention. But he gives back just the same. I like it when he wants me to take care of him. It makes me feel like he really needs my love. And I when I see that, I wanna give it back to him. So it's ongoing back and forth. That's how a true love should be. At least it works for us.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): i agree too ,i like needy men coz.i think when i love someone i should be his friend, his mother and his everything.i obsloutly dont mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): NO! they annoy me! its what mums are for - not girlfriends.
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A
female
reader, NewlyHappySingle +, writes (15 January 2008):
NO! Women are not here to serve men. Thats what their mom is for. Most independent women who know what they want and understand the true meaning of responsibility do not want to sit there and be a nurse/teacher/mother to a man. It doesn't work that way. A man who doesn't take on responsibility/career and work to improve himself...is not a man, nor is he an adult.
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A
female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Men who haven't had good relationships with their mothers almost always have a hang up about women. It can develop into anxiety disorders and the man could end up acting like a child for the rest of his life, and force a woman he's in a relationship with fill the role as mother. This is not good.
Everyone likes to be needed and wanted. Men who want women to be the role as the mother they never had will never be in a normal relationship. There are differences between what a wife does as compared to what a mother does. A mother makes sure you wake up on time, if you're on medication they make sure you take it, they set up appointments for you, they put your laundry away, etc. A wife loves you and is there for you whenever you need them, they are on the same emotional level as you are, they help you through a difficult time. A wife is there to support you in your decisions and be the other half of your team; a mother makes the decisions and tries to be the captain of the team.
I would never mother my husband. He knows better than to ask me to make sure he wakes up on time or to put his clothes away. I cook for him and I do the laundry, but he takes the laundry downstairs and carries it back up for me and he goes to the market with me to shop. It's all about give and take and helping the other with something they aren't very good at, not completely relying on your spouse for everything in your life.
If my husband wanted me to be his mother, I would not hesitate to send him back to his parent's house, where his mother would gladly comb his hair for him and put a bib on him while she hand fed him his dinner. Sounds disgusting, right? What normal man would want to be coddled like that? None that I can think of.
It's not a wife's fault that man hasn't had a good relationship with his mother, so she shouldn't have to make up for it. If you have any more questions or want to get more in depth about this, don't hesitate to message me. I have a lot of experience with someone who was needy like that.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Women are generally the care-givers in life, which is probably why God made us the gender who carries the babies. So it's no accident that most women are naturally a bit nurturing over those they care about. Of course there are acceptions. It's not a one-size-fits all world. And there's a fine line between wanting to be needed and taken care of and whiney. A man who allows a woman the occasional "fluff" and appreciates her nurturing side, say when he's sick with the flu is wonderful because we want to show you we're capable of handling crisis, and taking care of you when you really need it. But a man who's constantly in need of something, and becomes childlike and whiney too much of the time, begins to look less like a man and more like a wimp. So be careful. We really don't want to be your Mommy. :-)
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A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses +, writes (15 January 2008):
I'm not sure, "needy," is a key ingredient for any person seeking a partner. How would you define it?
I think most healthy relationships are complimentary, where both partners equally contribute in different ways.
In my opinion, "neediness," is not an attractive quality, but vulnerability is an attractive quality.
There are some people, however, with a codependent personality, and they thrive on their partner's weaknesses, often assuming a care-taking responsibility. This is not healthy, but very prominent in abusive relationships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Yeah, I guess I do like to take care of men. It's nice when the need for each other is mutual, and you feel like you actually make a good difference to their life. However, I'm much younger than you, so I think when I'm your age, I'm not so sure I'd feel the same way. It's important not to make a woman feel 'lumbered' with a man, and like she has to wash, cook, clean, iron etc constantly. It's nice when you guys do the cooking (GOOD cooking) and take an interest in the boring things women always seem to have to do.
But ultimately, yeah, it's nice when a guy can talk to you, and needs you there for him.
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A
female
reader, frizzylizzy  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Yeah I'm one of them, I think its a bit of a control issue. I'm with my partner for 2 years and he is very needy, oh and his mother is an old bag which makes me kind of feel sorry form him.
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