A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:So long story short, my last girl and i broke up and i suspected her of having feelings for her ex thus causing our break up. but she said she would never date him or feel that way about him again. and too my suprise...they started dating a month later. and after a couple months they broke up again, and on valentines day being the nice guy i am. i told her happy valentines day and sry her and her ex broke up. and she greeted my back and said it was fine. and she told me that she was suprised to hear from me cuz not even her ex said anything on valentines day. And she ended up apologizing for being a hypocrytical B**** and that she deserved all of the crap i gave her. Now that her and her ex are over i wanna see if we can make it work again. there was more too it than just her ex, i was also moving too fast for her and didnt give her enough space. so realizing this i think we could make it work a second time. but idk if she would be willing to try too. i mean i was just planning on starting hangin out with her alot. And just keep getting closer then just asking her if she would like to try things again. what do you think i should do?
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male
reader, epicureansage  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Sure, you can "try again" - if you like "eating someone else's left-overs." You are WAY TOO young to be SETTLING just to stay in your comfort zone. She's for others now - not you. You can do better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Stay away from her. She's a liar and a cheat. You sound really sweet honest decent guy so find yourself a honest lady who respects herself, you and others. This girl is not your one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): hmm, no don't try again, you making excuses talking about why you broke up in the first place, you had your suspicions about her feelings which turned out to be correct. She has to want it and prove she wants to be with you not the other way round, otherwise you'll end up back at square one, you doing all the pushing, which you're doing now and her doing all the keeping you at arms length and not committing while keeping her eye out for exs or others..take it extremely slow. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 February 2011):
 do you want to start again because she's available? And convenient? And to try to redress all the things you could have done better earlier?
And if yes to the latter, then why?
If you are intent on making it really work this time then take it slowly.
Talk at length first. You still hardly know this person. You think you do, but you don't.
If she had really been seriously into you earlier, then she would never have contemplated wanting to go with another.
Start talking and identifying your respective values and attitudes.
Find out how you really feel about a whole range of issues.
Deeply committed relationships of people meant for each other don't happen over-night, and don't happpen without a lot of groundwork and patience first.
Talking and sharing views on a whole range of issues is truly more important than your first kiss (or re-establishing kissing) will ever be.
put down good foundations first and you'll learn if you two are meant to be together, or not.
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