A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 7 months ago one of my good girl friends finished with a guy she’d been seeing, it was all very emotional and she was upset. That night we went to a friend’s party where after getting very drunk she found a rebound- good looking, one of the best at the party. The party moved to a club where she kissed him and exchanged numbers and over the next few weeks she went on two dates with him which were not overly successful and slept with him. However, they argued loads and she eventually admitted she wanted to be with the first guy the guy she had finished with. She carried things on with the first guy but things did eventually end before the end of the university year. Upon our return to university she wasn’t speaking to either and kissed the second guy once. Since then she has got a boyfriend and this one has quite quickly become serious. However my problem is that the second guy and I always got on well and as we are in the same social circle have ended up by coincidence spending time together and now we both like each other. He asked me to go out on a date and I said no because of my friend but I do still really like him. Do think this breaks all friendship rules - because my friend slept with him? Do you think I should talk to her and see if it is ok for me to go on a date with him as I would really like to?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): You should follow your heart and the relationship she had with him is ancient history. Just talk to her... one of my best friends is dating one of my exes and they have been together for 3 years now, me and the guy were only together for 4 months, she talked to me about how she felt about him and I was cool with it cause me and him were over and I slept with him a couple of times. I'm sure she will be fine with it, just don't do anything behind her back, just tell her how you feel and see how she responds.
A
male
reader, RonMexico  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 Of course you should ask her haha. If you can't talk about that with your friend then you aren't really good friends to begin with, sorry to say.Cheers,Ron Mexico :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Her relationship with him is ancient history! If you value your friendship with the girl, then, talk to her about it...but caution...don't listen to her opinions of him, she may have some negative attitude towards him, and will try to sway you away from him...either out of concern for you, or out of jealousy.
Trust your instincts and be careful! Remember the old saying "one mans garbage is another mans treasure" Well that goes for relationships too. You may be more compatible with this guy than she was!
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A
female
reader, Kathh +, writes (29 November 2008):
 I don't think it breaks relationship rules - lots of people meet their partners through friends although I don't think you guys will be going on cosy foursome dates! As petina1 suggests have a chat with your friend first and sound her out.I would be prepared for how you'll feel if she says no however and ask yourself if the friendship is more important to you or this guy, let us know how you get on.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (29 November 2008):
 The fact that your friend has moved on since him shouldnt be a problem to her. I would have a chat with her first about it then it shows her yu care about her feelings. Good luck. hope this helps.
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