A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a fairly attractive Indian woman in mid twenties residing in England for good i guess. I am very focused at this point on my goals and career and have got friendly and positive approach in life in general.I am pretty much new in dating scene in this country and I really don't how to go about it. I am not a pub and club person as it intimidates me and when guys approach me (English men generally) i really don't know how to handle it as I am quite shy although it does not reflect on my personality (I think!!).I have been having troubles in my mind at work as there are few men (older and younger) who are giving me an eye and I am not able to figure it out whether they are just inquisitive about me as I am different or they think of me just a shag as they have never presumably have dated an Indian lady before or they actually think of me as a relationship material or just genreally different and attractive?Also, for a very odd reason i seemed to be getting approached more by English men which is why i think I am asking these questions:a) What do men who are born and brought up here think about Indian woman or any another woman for that matter coming from their native countries? (if no opinion it is also acceptable)b)Do they think of them as an easy ride as they are new to the country and vulnerable perhaps?c)Do they think of them as a relationship material? or not really as they might be a bit of hard work coming from different cultures and worlds for that matter?Any sort of views and opinions are welcome as i really dont know how people percieve me at this point coming from a different background, although I am very open, with friendly approach and speak the language fairly well.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): I am the original poster,
Hey guys, thanks for the insight that ALL of you have provided me with. It was reassuring to hear that men don't see women from different cultures as an easy ride but on the contrary they find them attractive and stimulating. I would hate to be treated like a sex object so i guess I am playing very safe at the minute and won't deny that I do find caucasian men fairly cute (no offence to anyone).
But i guess i always worry that if i do go out with one...that person may want to rush me into things as it is fairly acceptable here whereas I have different set of values.
I guess my next question is what goes on in a man's mind when he is going out with a woman for good? Does he just want to get in her knickers?
What should i expect when they approach me? What sort of approach men like from women in their first few meetings...confident,shy,vulnerable? Are men just as nervous as women in their first approach?
I really don't know what sort of impression am i suppose to give to a man at first few meetings.
Any answers will be appreciated.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): I am an American and I think Indian women are hot, hot, HOT!!! And they speak English in such a cute sexy way. Oh my goodness, they can make me horny by just saying "Hello, how are you". Honey, most men: English, German, American or Martian don't care if you came from another country. They are just hoping that you like them. A pretty woman is a pretty woman and a man is stupid to not like a pretty woman just because she from somewhere else. No, men do not think you are an easy ride because you are Indian. They are hoping you are going to be easy because, well lets just face the truth here, men aren't really that smart about getting a woman into the sack and if it isn't football, men don't really have a lot of knowledge or ideas about it either. So they are desperately hoping that when they say "Yah wanna??", you say "WHY YES, of course, I have been waiting all night for your offer"!! I believe the smart men will find a relationship with a woman from another culture or race to be a stimulating experience that enlarges their life experience and outlook. The single most important thing that has made me the man i am today is the long term relationship i had with a woman from Thailand. I found it is easy and thoroughly enjoyable to love a woman from another culture. And it makes a man all the better for it too.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 May 2008):
 There are loads of men in England who appreciate women of all races and cultures, because they find them beautiful and very captivating compared to English women. Let me tell you Hun, they go wild for the exotic,sultry olive skinned women and I am speaking from experience.
I am 1/2 Indian and 1/2 English dating a Greek Gypriot, he loves dusky maidens like us hun and is not attracted to white women. So go out and have fun and you may be surprised and find your dream man.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (3 May 2008):
 I'm English born and bred.Interesting question.in reply to A:..would i be right in saying you mean White English?and for anyone about to start bitching i am merely asking and not being racist so button your yaps.B :Easy ride? no. different? Yes. hell i have a thing for Asians ( in the chinese/japanese fili sence )not in the sence of it being a fetish but i think they're a beautiful race more so than the white trash around here. ( Disclaimer : blah blah yes i called english girls white trash... if you don't believe me just visit lakeside on a saturday... see.. you know what i'm talking about )C :i think you need to realise than the english are.. well yeah we're a racist, sterotyping, ignorant race. i'm sure most would think of an Indian women they would think of arranged marriages. many people are racist or come from racist families and well no offence but throwing a little chocolate into the vanilia giving you a chocolate - vaniliaswirl many peoples parents wouldn't approve.of course in saying that there are people that are perfectly happy as long as their kids are happy..would you honestly say your parents would be thrill to meet Mr Johnny English with his pasty-white skin? ( just curious ) or would they be happier with you meeting a ncie Indian guy.it swings both ways.in todays world our cultures are so mixed yet so devided with race wars and hate crimes and everything else. its hard to pin point Excatly why.Maybe you're just not meeting the right people. maybe as a strong independant women guys are frightened by that.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 well hun i am british and my friend who is also british is dating this indian women for 2 years now..well thats all i have to say..if you are being hit by british men then nice,go ahead flirt back..have fun!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): First of all, i'm not an English man, im of the same ethnicity as you although ive been born and bred in England. The motives of a man vary from person to person, some will think youre an easy vulnerable target, some will just be there to ensure you 'find your feet' in your new environment.From your post, im assuming British culture is a new concept to you. Stay unattatched for a while (6 months maybe) and slowly youll learn and figure out what a guy wants from you, whether thats a long term relationship or 'cheap sex'. Hope ive helped even a little!Actually, disclosing where in England you are would help me make a better judgement.Reply back if there's anything else worrying you.
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