A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am receiving mixed signals from my current bf. And I really don't know, does he love me or not?First thing that I don't like, he rarely calls or msgs me on my mobile phone. Except only if he is coming to see me (he lives 2 hours away), thats when he calls like crazy. However, we do chat online daily. There are times we don't communicate at all for the whole day especially after he comes to visit.Another thing that I hate about him, he rarely seems to care if I have eaten or had skipped lunch. I do the opposite, I worry if he skips meals. On the other hand, he is a sweet guy and a jealous one too. When I am late to go online, he asks too many questions who I was with. He doesn't like it if I go online and don't say hi to him within 30 mins. Checks my phone and my laptop when he visits, checks all the pics and all folders. When we are together, he doesn't leave my side. He would always put his arms around me and kisses me on my cheeks, forehead and lips. I wake up sometimes to see him watching me or that I wake up because he is hugging me and kissing my cheeks and forehead. If I am cold, he would put blanket or adjust the room temperature.Do some guys act this way even though they love their gfs or am I just being blind here and that he actually doesn't love me even though he says all the time that he loves me. I am confused.
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 I'll just address each point in order.
1) Most guys communicate only because they have something to say - like, "I want this," or "I am now ready to do seomthing for you, tell me what you want." Stories have to be exciting or unusual, rather than just relaying everyday events like what his friends had to say. Some guys understand that girls like to talk just for the sake of it, but guys can only do that for so long. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you - he probably likes you fine, but would think you're a typical girl (i.e., cahtterbox).
2) Why would he worry? If he's not worried, it means he believes you are an adult who can decide her own diet. Try skipping meals for two days, then tell him about it, he'll worry. Honestly though, this point seems petty to me.
3) A bit of jealousy is natural and healthy, especially in an LDR. However, snooping through your stuff is unacceptable unless he's got good reason to believe you've been cheating - and "you were late to get online" doesn't count as a good reason. This needs to stop, but on the plus side, it means he's honestly invested in you.
4) Again, natural for an LDR, you want to be as close as possible. I can't tell if you're complaining about this, or just using it to counter-balance the points against him. If it bothers you, it would be a very delicate subject to talk about - a better option might be to have sex as soon as he shows up, then go out afterwards, he'll be in better control of his touchy-feely instincts. Or, if you like it, just keep enjoying it.
This all seems like normal, loving behavior to me - except the point about snooping. Even that could be born out of actual care, though, so I'd suggest calmly discussing it with him.
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